Wrestling Wednesday…
"It Stinks" – A Less-Than-Stellar Start to 2013 in Wrestling
Professional wrestling opened in a less-than-stellar way in 2013 with both TNA Wrestling and World Wrestling Entertainment making me feel like the legendary Jay Sherman.
First off, TNA’s first Impact of the year opened with a live show worse than anything the company has offered in two months. Hyped for weeks, Sting returned to TNA in an anticlimactic appearance as he casually walked to the ring during an Aces and 8s attack to assist Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe. Meanwhile, TNA dragged their feet on revealing whether Mr. Anderson is with Aces and 8s or not. We did see the reveal of another Aces and 8s though – Mike Knox. Yup, Mike Knox.
However, the worst part of the broadcast was sadly the highest-rated portion too – the Hulk Hogan Power Hour. It was not an hour but it sure felt like it. Over recent weeks, Bully Ray and Brooke Hogan have paired up as a couple. Papa Hogan, angry with one of the boys putting the screw to his daughter, made his displeasure public on Impact by kicking Brooke out of the ring and suspending Bully Ray from TNA. It was painful, tedious, and simply an unwanted soap opera angle in a company that can offer so much more.
I am sure that Hogan and his supporters in TNA management will justify this angle by pointing out the ratings. However, if any of them truly believe in respecting what draws the biggest ratings for the company, the Knockouts would have three segments weekly and the X-Division would not be far behind. The reality is that Hogan is, one again, working on making himself the center of attention while ruining another career in the process. Bully Ray was one of the hottest stars in TNA for most of 2012. Instead of sticking with what worked, management allowed Hogan to leech onto Bully Ray in order to get himself into the spotlight. Brooke getting a rub is purely coincidental. As long as management allows Hulk Hogan to do this, TNA Wrestling will never keep their momentum for longer than a few months because Hulk Hogan cannot and will not allow the company to shine based on the men and women in the ring. He needs to be the focal point.
Coming off the heels of that lackluster start to the TNA year, I allowed the anticipation of others to make me break a vow. Temptation got the best of me on Monday night and I tuned in for the first Monday Night RAW of 2013. Giving RAW 30 minutes to convince me to stick with it instead of flipping to the Alabama-Notre dame BCS Championship Game, WWE gave me more of the garbage that helped turn me off the company with an opening segment revolving around AJ Lee and John Cena’s superhero booking. The show opened with two recaps within the first three minutes and John Cena cutting Cena Promo #72 – the “I’m going to win the (insert event here) and prove I am the best” speech. Cena then faced Dolph Ziggler in a one-on-one match where Cena survived all three of Ziggler’s finishers, the finisher of Big E Langston, and the interference of AJ Lee to hit an Attitude Adjustment and win again in a match you have seen weekly since 2005.
Thanks to Alabama crushing Notre Dame and soul-crushing boredom, I tuned in again for the CM Punk-Ryback TLC match for the WWE Championship. Nothing short of mediocre, CM Punk scored another cheap victory thanks to the help of internet darlings The Shield in a TLC match fans would forget in another era with better matches offered regularly. At least Ryback’s main event push appears dead in the water now. Still, there was nothing in that match good enough to make me stay with the show. I quit and said, “See you in mid-April, WWE.” In that, I missed the magical verbal war between CM Punk and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
After hearing about the magic that was the verbal bout between CM Punk and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson at the end of RAW, I finally looked it up online. Already content with my decision to give WWE no more chances until after WrestleMania 29 when Dwayne Johnson returns to Hollywood, I felt I had to watch this promo to prove something to myself – I may not know a lot but I know professional wrestling.
I hear from people often the following statement: “You don’t watch WWE so you can’t talk about it. You don’t see it. You don’t know.” It aggravates me because these people also refuse to acknowledge that my criticisms mirror the criticisms they also have... and they do watch it. There is a difference between not watching something and not knowing about it. Thanks to the internet and many friends who cannot break that WWE addiction, I hear about everything in the company – news, angles, injuries, etc. – and I remain knowledgeable on the company through their comments. If not for these people and the internet, I might actually tune in more often because I would not know WWE is offering the same garbage that ran this fan of over 20 years away in July. However, I do know what is going on. I choose not to watch it. I do not have to tune in to Here Comes Honey Boo Boo or MTV’s Buckwild to know both shows are utter drivel. I heard about them and I know it is not for me.
Back to the Punk-Johnson promo, I found and I watched it. Before tuning in, I wrote the following as a prediction for what I was about to see:
CM Punk ranted about not being respected. He name-dropped some talent backstage and how they deserve better. He blasted Dwayne Johnson for waltzing back in from Hollywood (much the same way John Cena did a year ago). Then, Dwayne finally came out. He went through the same promo he’s done since 1999 -- catchphrases, something about butts or genitals, this Cookie Puss remark, “It doesn’t matter what…” etc. Then, it ended with a Rock Bottom, cue the music, good night folks.
As I watched it, I made the following notes on the promo:
Opens with a recap video. Punk defined #Pipebomb. Punk justified himself while bashing ice cream bars, mentioned being disrespected, and explained his heel turn. Punk talked about the glass ceiling and name-dropped some boys in the back; especially how Bryan and Kidd deserved better. Punk trashed guys who wrestled ahead of him, stressing that he’s more important than people who sold more tickets or worked more nights than him, because he’s on TV. Punk stressed that he’s the bad guy while trashing the audience and more people who wrestled ahead of him. More name-dropping. Punk continued to cut a heel speech lined with truth while, scripted or not, showing a lot of Phil Brooks’ real attitude. Punk returned from commercial to repeat, practically verbatim, the beginning of his speech until Dwayne Johnson shows up (looking HGH-rific). Dwayne opened well with a break from his usual shtick. Dwayne put Punk in his place, said everything that Triple H proved when shutting down the Summer of Punk in 2011. There’s Cookie Puss… and the same old Dwayne nonsense that was funny in 1999 to teenage Aaron now annoys grown-up Aaron. “Finally The Rock came back…” happens 21 minutes in. Why didn’t Rock say the real reason he’s back - to promote GI Joe: Retaliation and get a lot of money? We all know it. Just be honest. I loved the Punkeye the Crackhead bit. Toot, toot. That was gold. Dwayne clearly played the face role well as he takes up for the fans. “It doesn’t matter…” is 24 minutes in. Punk should have said The Undertaker instead of Santa Claus when mentioning working one day a year. Punk ripped Dwayne’s shtick apart. Regardless of where he got the line, Punk’s line about your arm’s being too short to box with God was gold. Dwayne is serious, it’s great… and now he wants Punk naked. He’s addressed Punk’s butt cheeks and made a genital joke. Damn it! Rock Bottom. Good night, folks.
No, I did not call it 100%. However, I safely say I got 75% of it. Sadly, that means that most of this promo was part of the same redundant nonsense both men have spewed over the past two years (or, in the case of Johnson, 14 years excluding the seven years he wanted nothing to do with the wrestling business). I am not saying the promo was not good; it was a good promo. Despite running 30 minutes long, it was a good promo where both men had shining moments. However, it was not great or epic like the majority of WWE fans would believe. This was not a game-changer like so many fans stress. This was merely a good promo in an era where good is great, great is legendary, and horrible is the new normal. I am not undercutting CM Punk or Dwayne Johnson’s efforts. I just remember a time when standards were higher. Sadly, just like in practically every other aspect of life, the standards of wrestling fans today are lower than ever.
While I will not tune in to WWE again anytime soon, I do hope that TNA Wrestling can get itself back on track. With this weekend’s Genesis pay-per-view looming with another stacked card including a main event between TNA World Champion Jeff Hardy, Bobby Roode, and Austin Aries that will not disappoint, I want to believe TNA can correct the ship quickly. However, if Hogan is allowed to have his way, 2013 will see more Papa Hogan in the spotlight – something nobody wants to see.
No comments:
Post a Comment