Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Money in the Bank recap, Women's World Cup, Brian Wilson Mania, Sting and the Joker, and more!
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Friday, July 1, 2011
Transformers: Dark of the Moon recap, CM Punk is the best, SportsNation's birthday, Rorymania, and more!
These four things I know are true…
- Transformers: Dark of the Moon was absolutely terrific and perfect for what it was: cinematic junk food.
- CM Punk is the best professional wrestler in the world today. And, he’s going nowhere.
- Rory McIlroy is a great young golfer. But, he’s not the next Tiger Woods.
- And, I’m Aaron Goins. All my thoughts on these topics and so much more (including my favorite 13 from Taylor Swift)… in The Highlight Reel!
NEWS and NOTES
**Transformers: Dark of the Moon opened to nothing but negative reviews from critics and a negative buzz caused by the removal of star Megan Fox in favor of a beautiful young lady seemingly plucked from obscurity. It was another Michael Bay film filled with explosions, a Swiss cheese plot (filed with holes), and CGI-sizzle over actual acting-substance. Considering that Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was panned by even the most die-hards, this film had a lot to do to rebound and save the film franchise. Personally, I think that Transformers: Dark of the Moon not only redeemed the franchise after the second film (which I also thought was good), it also has me wanting another installment just because the Transformers story is too good to leave right now.
Considering that the movie has just opened, I’m not going to spoil the movie by going too far into detail on the plot when addressing the positives and negatives. That said, I can still talk about the film a little. Transformers: Dark of the Moon actually did an interesting job of weaving in real life historic moments into the Transformers universe. Apparently the space race of the 1960s and the moon landing were all a part of a conspiracy to investigate a crash on the dark side of the moon; the crash of an Autobot ship escaping from war-torn Cybertron. Also, evidently Chernobyl occurred when the Soviets were attempted to use a fuel cell taken from the Autobot crash site. These historic events were weaved into the storyline in a way surprisingly not over-the-top or ridiculous sounding. Meanwhile, Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) was heartbroken after Mikaela (Megan Fox in the first two films) dumped him following the second film. Yet, he had moved onto another bombshell in Carly Spencer (played impressively by model-turned-actress Rosie Huntington-Whiteley). In a storyline that seemed like Michael Bay living vicariously through his character, Sam felt disrespected because he had helped to save the world twice and was a college graduate but could not land a job in Washington, DC. Eventually, Sam landed a job in the mail room of a company helmed by John Malkovich as the Decepticons began a plan to develop a large space-bridge that would bring Cybertron to Earth in order to rebuild the Decepticon race on earth. As all of the events began to fall into place, Transformers: Dark of the Moon seemed to be following a formulaic plot until a super sweet heel turn shook things up and made the film infinitely more interesting.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon is not without complaints from me though. For one, Transformers: Dark of the Moon suffers from the exact same problem as the previous film: it is WAY TOO LONG. At two hours and 35 minutes, Transformers: Dark of the Moon feels like the Gone With the Wind of robot alien films. At least thirty minutes could have been removed from the film and it would have still had the same impact and affect on viewers.
Plus, Michael Bay used the film to make personal shots and I didn’t enjoy that. Sam was basically Michael bay in a character. The disrespect Sam felt in being unemployed despite having saved the world mirrored Bay’s feelings of disrespect from Hollywood critics and fans who criticize Bay’s every work regardless of how many millions his films bring in. But, the worst of Bay’s veiled shots came in the way Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was filmed. The first time we see Sam’s new flame, we get a glorious shot of her wearing one of his old shirts and panties. Later in the film, we get a nice up-skirt shot of her as she exits a car. Michael Bay basically showed her off like a new crush while subliminally saying “Hey, Megan Fox. Anyone can do your part.” The bad thing though is that, as good as Huntington-Whiteley was at playing Carly, the character was nowhere near as impressive as Megan Fox’s Mikaela. Carly was the stereotypical weak girl who used persuasive skills once to make an impact while Mikaela actually fought back and took part physically in the battles of the first two films despite being of similar gorgeous build as Carly. It was embarrassing to see how Michael Bay attempted to show up Megan Fox by replacing her with another beautiful unknown but instead only showed how important and inspiring Fox’s character was in comparison to Huntington-Whiteley’s vastly inferior character.
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is pretty damn sexy though.
To me, the Transformers films have been a perfect example of what I call cinematic junk food. They are not intellectually stimulating nor are they meant to be. Everyone knows that they are supposed to eat healthy and enjoy fruits and salads. Yet, everyone also enjoys that big bag of chips or a greasy cheeseburger. Instead of the intellectual stimulation found in the well-acted and story-fueled films that dominate awards season, summer time is the time for that cheeseburger. Transformers: Dark of the Moon is not going to be found on a list of the greatest films ever made alongside The Shawshank Redemption, The Godfather, The Departed, or No Country For Old Men. But, it is absolutely perfect fodder for the summer time when you simply need a movie to escape reality with for a little while. Transformers: Dark of the Moon is a must-see film for the summer of 2011.
** “John Cena, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I leave in three weeks with your WWE Championship. I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.
I don’t hate you, John. I don’t even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back.
I hate this idea that you’re the best. Because you’re not. I’m the best. I’m the best in the world. There’s one thing you’re better at than I am and that’s kissing Vince McMahon’s ass.
You’re as good as kissing Vince McMahon’s ass as Hulk Hogan was. I don’t know if you’re as good as Dwayne though. He’s a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is.
Whoops! I’m breaking the fourth wall! (Punk waves to the camera)
I am the best wrestler in the world. I’ve been the best since day one when I walked into this company. And I’ve been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That’s right, I’m a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar. And he split just like I’m splitting. But the biggest difference between me and Brock is I’m going to leave with the WWE Championship.
I’ve grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon’s brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that there just that; they’re completely imaginary. The only thing that’s real is me and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I have proved to everybody in the world that I am the best on this microphone, in that ring, even in commentary! Nobody can touch me!
And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I’m not on your lovely little collector cups. I’m not on the cover of the program. I’m barely promoted. I don't get to be in movies. I’m certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network. I’m not on the poster of WrestleMania. I’m not on the signature that’s produced at the start of the show. I’m not on Conan O’Brien. I’m not on Jimmy Fallon. But the fact of the matter is, I should be.
This isn’t sour grapes. But the fact that Dwayne is in the main event at WrestleMania next year and I’m not makes me sick!
Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else because you’re the ones who are sipping on those collector cups right now. You’re the ones that buy those programs that my face isn’t on the cover of and then, at five in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my face and get an autograph and try to sell it on Ebay because you’re too lazy to go get a real job.
I’m leaving with the WWE Championship on July 17th. And hell, who knows, maybe I’ll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe… I’ll go back to Ring of Honor.
(Punk looks at the camera and waves) Hey, Colt Cabana, how you doing?
The reason I’m leaving is you people. Because after I’m gone, you’re still going to pour money into this company. I’m just a spoke on the wheel. The wheel is going to keep turning and I understand that. Vince McMahon is going to make money despite himself. He’s a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he’s not a billionaire? Because he surrounds himself with glad-handed, nonsensical, douche bag (censored) yes men, like John Laurinaitis, who’s going to tell him everything he wants to hear. And I’d like to think that maybe this company will better after Vince McMahon is dead. But the fact is, it’s going to be taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family.
Let me tell you a personal story about Vince McMahon alright. We do this whole anti-bully campaign… (the microphone cuts off.)”
On June 27th in Las Vegas, Nevada, CM Punk said those words to end Monday Night RAW and set the wrestling world afire.
CM Punk is scheduled to face WWE Champion John Cena on July 17th at the Money in the Bank pay-per-view event in Chicago, Illinois. When this match was announced, CM Punk also announced a very real tidbit regarding this match. On July 18th, CM Punk will no longer be employed by World Wrestling Entertainment. Punk’s contract is coming to an end and Punk has chosen to not resign despite offers in the seven-figure range from WWE management. After a six-year career in the WWE, Punk is prepared to leave while on top of his game. But, Punk is leaving while setting the world on fire with worked shoot comments and promos that have fans wondering if Punk’s departure is indeed a work or a shoot. In this day and age of wrestling where everything, especially in the WWE, is so scripted that it is insulting to the intelligence of the fans, Punk’s possible final angle in the WWE is truly a thing of genius.
All of the signs continue to point to CM Punk leaving the WWE at the end of the Money in the Bank PPV. Despite a career in the WWE that has seen Punk win four World Championships (three World Heavyweight titles and one ECW Championship), two Money in the Bank wins, and numerous other accolades, Punk has never main-evented WrestleMania or been treated like the main event star that he clearly is. Working your ass off without getting anywhere while vastly inferior talents like Randy Orton and John Cena thrive in the spotlight takes a toll and Punk is ready to split. While the reasoning is clearly justified, I think that Punk’s promo not only put the Straight Edge Superstar on a new plain in terms of wrestling history; it also established that CM Punk is indeed going nowhere.
CM Punk’s promo caught us all off-guard because it was new, fresh, full of attitude and rage not seen since the days of the Attitude Era. Yet, it was very much a PG Era promo without profanities. The promo was steeped deeply in the 1980s professional wrestling style that the business has been lacking for years. But, it was also steeped deeply in signs that CM Punk is going nowhere. Unless the chance for future humiliation was there, Punk would have never been allowed to speak about Vince McMahon, John Laurinaitis, Stephanie McMahon-Levesque, or Triple H on national television like that. Punk wouldn’t have even been fired for the words; he would have been executed. Instead, Punk will more than likely enter a feud with WWE Management on-screen that will culminate with CM Punk doing the job to Triple H at WrestleMania 28 in Miami, Florida in what will be the closest to a WrestleMania main event that Punk will ever see. CM Punk will get a nice raise and a push that might even have him break the glass ceiling of WWE. But, as great as Punk’s words were, the truth of the matter is that Vince McMahon will drop the ball with a man who should be this era’s “Stone Cold” Steve Austin because Vince is a millionaire in spite of himself. This promo was epic. But, so was the debut of the Nexus, the reign of William Regal as King of the Ring, the meteoric rises of Mr. Kennedy, Sheamus, MVP, Alberto Del Rio and countless other moments in World Wrestling Entertainment over the last few years. What did they ultimately lead to?
**Only in the world of sports can multimillionaires and billionaires argue about money to a point where they will refuse to work and cost themselves more money squabbling over a little. The NFL is currently over 100 days into their lockout and there still appears to be no end in sight with the football season looming just over the horizon. Now, you can add the NBA to the list of sports leagues currently in a lockout.
Coming off the highest-rated NBA Playoffs in over a decade and interest in the game not seen since the days when Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls reigned supreme, the National Basketball Association has decided to appear greedy and villainous in a society where millions are still unemployed and millions more struggle to get by day-to-day by squabbling over money that none of these athletes or owners will miss. The NBA has entered a lockout and there appears to be no end in sight.
Frankly, I feel the exact same about this lockout as I do about the NFL lockout. It is greed, plain and simple, rearing its ugly head and a lot of wealthy men forgetting who that the blood and sweat of the poor are just as responsible for these millions they are fighting over as they are. For every hour spent in a weight room or on a field honing their skill, there are a thousand of people working for the income to spend living vicariously through their favorite athletes. Without us, the fans, the athletes in question and owners who makes their money off these athletes wouldn’t have a dime to fight over; let alone the millions that they are striking over. Today’s athlete loses the heroic idolatry of the athletes of yesteryear with every squabble over money as they show that they don’t even realize how lucky they are to be famous and wealthy at any level from simply playing a game.
Football players and owners are close to taking football away from a nation that needs those games to escape from the crippling depression of everyday life for a few hours. Now, basketball appears to be ready to do the same. Why can’t soccer or tennis go on strike? Nobody would miss them.
**July 6th marks the two-year anniversary of a television show that has been the launching pad for a new sports superstar and appears to be the next revolutionary force in sports television. ESPN SportsNation is turning two!
While I did not become a fan of the show until I discovered it about a month later, I was instantly hooked. I had previous notions about Colin Cowherd from his disrespectful-bordering-slanderous remarks regarding professional wrestling. But, the wit, charm, and intelligence of Michelle Beadle kept me hooked even after Colin spoke for the first time and proved himself to be a complete dope. Of course, the fact that Michelle is also drop-dead gorgeous only added to my reasons to stay tuned in.
Since then, Michelle Beadle’s star at ESPN has risen to another hosting job (Winners Bracket), appearing on Late Show with David Letterman, recently guest hosting Live with Regis and Kelly, and becoming every sports fans’ dream girl without even posing for Maxim or dressing scantily on television. Michelle has just been the same charming, funny, smart woman from Texas that we all fell in love with on Day One of SportsNation. Plus, the fact that she’s made Colin Cowherd somewhat tolerable and likeable by putting him in his place for two years means that she’s clearly destined for sainthood.
Currently my favorite show on television (when Beadle is hosting), ESPN SportsNation is the best place to find sporting news and differing opinions without a barrage of old men yelling or outdated opinions that you heard a decade ago. Congrats to SportsNation on two years and here’s to many more (as long as Michelle is on).
**I’m back in the running for the girl of my dreams!
That is the first thought that came to my mind when I read the news that ESPN SportsNation host and sports Goddess Michelle Beadle was back on the market after her split from former boyfriend/formerly the luckiest man alive Matthew Barnaby. Of course, I know I don’t really have a shot. But, if Michelle is looking for a man who will make her smile and who will worship at her feet like the divine idol that she is, Beadle needs to look no farther than right here.
**Professional wrestling has a chance to have a third major promotion on national television in the fall as Ring of Honor Wrestling has been bought by the Sinclair Broadcast Group. The group, which owns television stations all over the United States, will begin airing Ring of Honor Wrestling via syndication on Saturday, September 24th, 2011.
While this is not the first television deal for Ring of Honor Wrestling, this is far and away the biggest deal the company has ever had. Originally airing from March 2009-April 2011 on HDNet, Ring of Honor now has a chance to show what many have said is the premiere professional wrestling company in America today to more than just the elite few who have a pricey enough high definition package through their local cable or satellite provider. Ring of Honor will be airing on Saturday nights through syndication to over 20% of the nation. With success, Ring of Honor can then get sold through syndication to non-Sinclair Broadcast-owned stations all over the country. Right now, the ball is finally in Ring of Honor’s court with regards to if this company will emerge and become the third major promotion in America or if they will remain an overrated Indy fed. I know I am wishing them all the best and hope that September 24th is the beginning of TNA Wrestling having some competition as the premiere wrestling company in the country.
**The golfing world has a new “next Tiger Woods.” Yeah, we have all heard this time and time again as a new face wins a tournament in an impressive way and then fades into the pack while America looks for another golfer with the ability and charisma of one Tiger Woods. This time, Northern Ireland produced the next Tiger with 22-year old Rory McIlroy.
McIlroy won the 2011 US Open in spectacular fashion with a record-low 16-under par finish at Congressional in Bethesda, Maryland. His score was four strokes better than the previous record-low at the Open, 12-under, shot by Tiger Woods at Pebble Beach in 2000. Winning the Open by eight strokes over his next closest competitor, McIlroy became the youngest winner of the US Open since Bobby Jones won the tournament in 1923. While it was an amazing performance over the course of four days, was it really enough to warrant the sporting world crowning the Northern Ireland native as the next major phenomenon? According the most golfing fans hungry for a new star in the absence of Woods, yes.
NBC analysts sang the praises of McIlroy all day during the final round as there was no competition close to posing a serious threat. The gallery cheered and followed McIlroy’s every move with some chanting “Tiger who?” while glowing in the radiance of the PGA’s new legend. All the while, they conveniently seemed to forget that Rory was the same young man who was dominant in Augusta before blowing up like a hand grenade in the final nine holes of The Masters; a collapse that dropped him from sure victory into a 15th place finish.
Frankly, I’ll be inclined to remember McIlroy more for the tremendous performance at the US Open if he can back it up with a clutch performance in a tournament soon instead of another collapse like in Augusta in April. And, as for the “next Tiger Woods” talk, all I can say to those making that claim is… Really? Really?!? Rory McIlroy is a talented young man but he is a long way before getting his name on the same stratosphere as Tiger Woods.
**Remember when everybody had a MySpace page? Yeah, even The Highlight Reel was found exclusively on MySpace for a long time. Wow, those were the days, huh?
In 2005, MySpace was such a big deal that News Corp. purchased the social media site for $580 million dollars. Amazing what happens in six years. MySpace was recently sold to a group of investors, including Justin Timberlake, for $35 million dollars. That is a drop in buying price of $545 million dollars in almost six years time. Now, I’m no math whiz but that seems like a major price swing caused by a tremendous lack of interest in a product.
What I can’t help but wonder is why Justin Timberlake, of all people, would purchase MySpace? Is this one of the investments he’ll discuss regretting in 20 years when he’s interviewed for his Behind the Music special from the mobile home he’ll be living in ala MC Hammer? I just don’t get it.
**On June 20th, Ryan Dunn of Jackass fame died in a fiery car crash in Pennsylvania. Dunn was one of my personal favorites of the Jackass crew. He was always involved in some of the more interesting stunts and rarely ever stooped to the depth of degradation that Steve-O lives in. Still, Dunn lived in the party and died from the party. Dunn was drunk and driving over 130 mph in a 55 mph zone when he crashed his 2007 Ferrari into a wooded area at 3AM.
RIP, Ryan Dunn. I’ll remember the fun antics from the Jackass shows and films. Hopefully, in passing, he’ll be remembered by others as a symbol that the same party that you love can also ultimately lead to your demise.
CHEERS and JEERS
Superstar of the Week: CM Punk
Seriously, after the promo Punk cut to end RAW this week, how could I not give this honor to the Straight Edge Superstar?
Jerk of the Week: Chris Hansen
I am a big fan of the work of television journalist Chris Hansen. His work on Dateline NBC’s: To Catch A Predator has been groundbreaking in helping to stop pedophiles from meeting children online and potentially harming them in reality. Plus, the program To Catch A Predator is so unintentionally funny that it is among the finest comedies to ever air on television. But, Chris Hansen was busted recently doing something naughty. What’s worse is that he was busted in the same vein that he has sent so many pedophiles to their dream vacation in the State Pen.
Recently, Chris Hansen was busted enjoying a date night with a 30-year old Florida news reporter by a private investigator hired by Hansen’s wife in the same vein that Hansen has busted many potential pedophiles over the years.
Really, Chris? Really? You’re going to fall for the same scheme that you’ve been a part of for years? Now, I give him props for at least keeping with a woman of legal age for his adultery. But, to be busted as part of a sting operation? Shameful, Chris Hansen. Shameful.
POWER RANKINGS - Top 13 Taylor Swift Songs (In honor of Taylor’s recent concert in Greensboro and her favorite number.)
13. “Speak Now” - found on the album Speak Now
12. “The Story of Us” - found on the album Speak Now
11. “Back to December” - found on the album Speak Now
10. “Fearless” - found on the album Fearless
9. “Sparks Fly” - found on the album Speak Now
8. “Tim McGraw” - found on the album Taylor Swift
7. “Love Story” found on the album Fearless
6. “I’m Only Me When I’m With You” - found on the album Taylor Swift
5. “Today Was A Fairytale” - found on the album Valentine’s Day Original Film Soundtrack
4. “You Belong With Me” found on the album Fearless
3. “Picture To Burn” - found on the album Taylor Swift
2. “Mean” - found on the album Speak Now
1. “Should’ve Said No” - found on the album Taylor Swift
BIG A RECOMMENDS…
The ‘Scroom and Swiss Sandwich - currently available at Arby’s
Absolutely delicious. Between the scrumptious roast beef, tasty melted cheese, and delectable mushrooms, this is a sandwich that is a meal. I love it and highly recommend it.
WHAT I LEARNED THIS WEEK…
I haven’t learned much of anything. I guess it could be said that I’m learning how much I can stand but the truth is that I’m closer to my breaking point with every rejection letter, failed job interview, hour spent filling out job applications that ultimately are futile, and day spent looking at an insurmountable mountain of debt with more bills coming and no way to pay them in sight.
I really, really think that I’ve just had enough.
-- Aaron Goins
- Transformers: Dark of the Moon was absolutely terrific and perfect for what it was: cinematic junk food.
- CM Punk is the best professional wrestler in the world today. And, he’s going nowhere.
- Rory McIlroy is a great young golfer. But, he’s not the next Tiger Woods.
- And, I’m Aaron Goins. All my thoughts on these topics and so much more (including my favorite 13 from Taylor Swift)… in The Highlight Reel!
NEWS and NOTES
**Transformers: Dark of the Moon opened to nothing but negative reviews from critics and a negative buzz caused by the removal of star Megan Fox in favor of a beautiful young lady seemingly plucked from obscurity. It was another Michael Bay film filled with explosions, a Swiss cheese plot (filed with holes), and CGI-sizzle over actual acting-substance. Considering that Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was panned by even the most die-hards, this film had a lot to do to rebound and save the film franchise. Personally, I think that Transformers: Dark of the Moon not only redeemed the franchise after the second film (which I also thought was good), it also has me wanting another installment just because the Transformers story is too good to leave right now.
Considering that the movie has just opened, I’m not going to spoil the movie by going too far into detail on the plot when addressing the positives and negatives. That said, I can still talk about the film a little. Transformers: Dark of the Moon actually did an interesting job of weaving in real life historic moments into the Transformers universe. Apparently the space race of the 1960s and the moon landing were all a part of a conspiracy to investigate a crash on the dark side of the moon; the crash of an Autobot ship escaping from war-torn Cybertron. Also, evidently Chernobyl occurred when the Soviets were attempted to use a fuel cell taken from the Autobot crash site. These historic events were weaved into the storyline in a way surprisingly not over-the-top or ridiculous sounding. Meanwhile, Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) was heartbroken after Mikaela (Megan Fox in the first two films) dumped him following the second film. Yet, he had moved onto another bombshell in Carly Spencer (played impressively by model-turned-actress Rosie Huntington-Whiteley). In a storyline that seemed like Michael Bay living vicariously through his character, Sam felt disrespected because he had helped to save the world twice and was a college graduate but could not land a job in Washington, DC. Eventually, Sam landed a job in the mail room of a company helmed by John Malkovich as the Decepticons began a plan to develop a large space-bridge that would bring Cybertron to Earth in order to rebuild the Decepticon race on earth. As all of the events began to fall into place, Transformers: Dark of the Moon seemed to be following a formulaic plot until a super sweet heel turn shook things up and made the film infinitely more interesting.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon is not without complaints from me though. For one, Transformers: Dark of the Moon suffers from the exact same problem as the previous film: it is WAY TOO LONG. At two hours and 35 minutes, Transformers: Dark of the Moon feels like the Gone With the Wind of robot alien films. At least thirty minutes could have been removed from the film and it would have still had the same impact and affect on viewers.
Plus, Michael Bay used the film to make personal shots and I didn’t enjoy that. Sam was basically Michael bay in a character. The disrespect Sam felt in being unemployed despite having saved the world mirrored Bay’s feelings of disrespect from Hollywood critics and fans who criticize Bay’s every work regardless of how many millions his films bring in. But, the worst of Bay’s veiled shots came in the way Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was filmed. The first time we see Sam’s new flame, we get a glorious shot of her wearing one of his old shirts and panties. Later in the film, we get a nice up-skirt shot of her as she exits a car. Michael Bay basically showed her off like a new crush while subliminally saying “Hey, Megan Fox. Anyone can do your part.” The bad thing though is that, as good as Huntington-Whiteley was at playing Carly, the character was nowhere near as impressive as Megan Fox’s Mikaela. Carly was the stereotypical weak girl who used persuasive skills once to make an impact while Mikaela actually fought back and took part physically in the battles of the first two films despite being of similar gorgeous build as Carly. It was embarrassing to see how Michael Bay attempted to show up Megan Fox by replacing her with another beautiful unknown but instead only showed how important and inspiring Fox’s character was in comparison to Huntington-Whiteley’s vastly inferior character.
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is pretty damn sexy though.
To me, the Transformers films have been a perfect example of what I call cinematic junk food. They are not intellectually stimulating nor are they meant to be. Everyone knows that they are supposed to eat healthy and enjoy fruits and salads. Yet, everyone also enjoys that big bag of chips or a greasy cheeseburger. Instead of the intellectual stimulation found in the well-acted and story-fueled films that dominate awards season, summer time is the time for that cheeseburger. Transformers: Dark of the Moon is not going to be found on a list of the greatest films ever made alongside The Shawshank Redemption, The Godfather, The Departed, or No Country For Old Men. But, it is absolutely perfect fodder for the summer time when you simply need a movie to escape reality with for a little while. Transformers: Dark of the Moon is a must-see film for the summer of 2011.
** “John Cena, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I leave in three weeks with your WWE Championship. I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.
I don’t hate you, John. I don’t even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back.
I hate this idea that you’re the best. Because you’re not. I’m the best. I’m the best in the world. There’s one thing you’re better at than I am and that’s kissing Vince McMahon’s ass.
You’re as good as kissing Vince McMahon’s ass as Hulk Hogan was. I don’t know if you’re as good as Dwayne though. He’s a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is.
Whoops! I’m breaking the fourth wall! (Punk waves to the camera)
I am the best wrestler in the world. I’ve been the best since day one when I walked into this company. And I’ve been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That’s right, I’m a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar. And he split just like I’m splitting. But the biggest difference between me and Brock is I’m going to leave with the WWE Championship.
I’ve grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon’s brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that there just that; they’re completely imaginary. The only thing that’s real is me and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I have proved to everybody in the world that I am the best on this microphone, in that ring, even in commentary! Nobody can touch me!
And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I’m not on your lovely little collector cups. I’m not on the cover of the program. I’m barely promoted. I don't get to be in movies. I’m certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network. I’m not on the poster of WrestleMania. I’m not on the signature that’s produced at the start of the show. I’m not on Conan O’Brien. I’m not on Jimmy Fallon. But the fact of the matter is, I should be.
This isn’t sour grapes. But the fact that Dwayne is in the main event at WrestleMania next year and I’m not makes me sick!
Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else because you’re the ones who are sipping on those collector cups right now. You’re the ones that buy those programs that my face isn’t on the cover of and then, at five in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my face and get an autograph and try to sell it on Ebay because you’re too lazy to go get a real job.
I’m leaving with the WWE Championship on July 17th. And hell, who knows, maybe I’ll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe… I’ll go back to Ring of Honor.
(Punk looks at the camera and waves) Hey, Colt Cabana, how you doing?
The reason I’m leaving is you people. Because after I’m gone, you’re still going to pour money into this company. I’m just a spoke on the wheel. The wheel is going to keep turning and I understand that. Vince McMahon is going to make money despite himself. He’s a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he’s not a billionaire? Because he surrounds himself with glad-handed, nonsensical, douche bag (censored) yes men, like John Laurinaitis, who’s going to tell him everything he wants to hear. And I’d like to think that maybe this company will better after Vince McMahon is dead. But the fact is, it’s going to be taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family.
Let me tell you a personal story about Vince McMahon alright. We do this whole anti-bully campaign… (the microphone cuts off.)”
On June 27th in Las Vegas, Nevada, CM Punk said those words to end Monday Night RAW and set the wrestling world afire.
CM Punk is scheduled to face WWE Champion John Cena on July 17th at the Money in the Bank pay-per-view event in Chicago, Illinois. When this match was announced, CM Punk also announced a very real tidbit regarding this match. On July 18th, CM Punk will no longer be employed by World Wrestling Entertainment. Punk’s contract is coming to an end and Punk has chosen to not resign despite offers in the seven-figure range from WWE management. After a six-year career in the WWE, Punk is prepared to leave while on top of his game. But, Punk is leaving while setting the world on fire with worked shoot comments and promos that have fans wondering if Punk’s departure is indeed a work or a shoot. In this day and age of wrestling where everything, especially in the WWE, is so scripted that it is insulting to the intelligence of the fans, Punk’s possible final angle in the WWE is truly a thing of genius.
All of the signs continue to point to CM Punk leaving the WWE at the end of the Money in the Bank PPV. Despite a career in the WWE that has seen Punk win four World Championships (three World Heavyweight titles and one ECW Championship), two Money in the Bank wins, and numerous other accolades, Punk has never main-evented WrestleMania or been treated like the main event star that he clearly is. Working your ass off without getting anywhere while vastly inferior talents like Randy Orton and John Cena thrive in the spotlight takes a toll and Punk is ready to split. While the reasoning is clearly justified, I think that Punk’s promo not only put the Straight Edge Superstar on a new plain in terms of wrestling history; it also established that CM Punk is indeed going nowhere.
CM Punk’s promo caught us all off-guard because it was new, fresh, full of attitude and rage not seen since the days of the Attitude Era. Yet, it was very much a PG Era promo without profanities. The promo was steeped deeply in the 1980s professional wrestling style that the business has been lacking for years. But, it was also steeped deeply in signs that CM Punk is going nowhere. Unless the chance for future humiliation was there, Punk would have never been allowed to speak about Vince McMahon, John Laurinaitis, Stephanie McMahon-Levesque, or Triple H on national television like that. Punk wouldn’t have even been fired for the words; he would have been executed. Instead, Punk will more than likely enter a feud with WWE Management on-screen that will culminate with CM Punk doing the job to Triple H at WrestleMania 28 in Miami, Florida in what will be the closest to a WrestleMania main event that Punk will ever see. CM Punk will get a nice raise and a push that might even have him break the glass ceiling of WWE. But, as great as Punk’s words were, the truth of the matter is that Vince McMahon will drop the ball with a man who should be this era’s “Stone Cold” Steve Austin because Vince is a millionaire in spite of himself. This promo was epic. But, so was the debut of the Nexus, the reign of William Regal as King of the Ring, the meteoric rises of Mr. Kennedy, Sheamus, MVP, Alberto Del Rio and countless other moments in World Wrestling Entertainment over the last few years. What did they ultimately lead to?
**Only in the world of sports can multimillionaires and billionaires argue about money to a point where they will refuse to work and cost themselves more money squabbling over a little. The NFL is currently over 100 days into their lockout and there still appears to be no end in sight with the football season looming just over the horizon. Now, you can add the NBA to the list of sports leagues currently in a lockout.
Coming off the highest-rated NBA Playoffs in over a decade and interest in the game not seen since the days when Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls reigned supreme, the National Basketball Association has decided to appear greedy and villainous in a society where millions are still unemployed and millions more struggle to get by day-to-day by squabbling over money that none of these athletes or owners will miss. The NBA has entered a lockout and there appears to be no end in sight.
Frankly, I feel the exact same about this lockout as I do about the NFL lockout. It is greed, plain and simple, rearing its ugly head and a lot of wealthy men forgetting who that the blood and sweat of the poor are just as responsible for these millions they are fighting over as they are. For every hour spent in a weight room or on a field honing their skill, there are a thousand of people working for the income to spend living vicariously through their favorite athletes. Without us, the fans, the athletes in question and owners who makes their money off these athletes wouldn’t have a dime to fight over; let alone the millions that they are striking over. Today’s athlete loses the heroic idolatry of the athletes of yesteryear with every squabble over money as they show that they don’t even realize how lucky they are to be famous and wealthy at any level from simply playing a game.
Football players and owners are close to taking football away from a nation that needs those games to escape from the crippling depression of everyday life for a few hours. Now, basketball appears to be ready to do the same. Why can’t soccer or tennis go on strike? Nobody would miss them.
**July 6th marks the two-year anniversary of a television show that has been the launching pad for a new sports superstar and appears to be the next revolutionary force in sports television. ESPN SportsNation is turning two!
While I did not become a fan of the show until I discovered it about a month later, I was instantly hooked. I had previous notions about Colin Cowherd from his disrespectful-bordering-slanderous remarks regarding professional wrestling. But, the wit, charm, and intelligence of Michelle Beadle kept me hooked even after Colin spoke for the first time and proved himself to be a complete dope. Of course, the fact that Michelle is also drop-dead gorgeous only added to my reasons to stay tuned in.
Since then, Michelle Beadle’s star at ESPN has risen to another hosting job (Winners Bracket), appearing on Late Show with David Letterman, recently guest hosting Live with Regis and Kelly, and becoming every sports fans’ dream girl without even posing for Maxim or dressing scantily on television. Michelle has just been the same charming, funny, smart woman from Texas that we all fell in love with on Day One of SportsNation. Plus, the fact that she’s made Colin Cowherd somewhat tolerable and likeable by putting him in his place for two years means that she’s clearly destined for sainthood.
Currently my favorite show on television (when Beadle is hosting), ESPN SportsNation is the best place to find sporting news and differing opinions without a barrage of old men yelling or outdated opinions that you heard a decade ago. Congrats to SportsNation on two years and here’s to many more (as long as Michelle is on).
**I’m back in the running for the girl of my dreams!
That is the first thought that came to my mind when I read the news that ESPN SportsNation host and sports Goddess Michelle Beadle was back on the market after her split from former boyfriend/formerly the luckiest man alive Matthew Barnaby. Of course, I know I don’t really have a shot. But, if Michelle is looking for a man who will make her smile and who will worship at her feet like the divine idol that she is, Beadle needs to look no farther than right here.
**Professional wrestling has a chance to have a third major promotion on national television in the fall as Ring of Honor Wrestling has been bought by the Sinclair Broadcast Group. The group, which owns television stations all over the United States, will begin airing Ring of Honor Wrestling via syndication on Saturday, September 24th, 2011.
While this is not the first television deal for Ring of Honor Wrestling, this is far and away the biggest deal the company has ever had. Originally airing from March 2009-April 2011 on HDNet, Ring of Honor now has a chance to show what many have said is the premiere professional wrestling company in America today to more than just the elite few who have a pricey enough high definition package through their local cable or satellite provider. Ring of Honor will be airing on Saturday nights through syndication to over 20% of the nation. With success, Ring of Honor can then get sold through syndication to non-Sinclair Broadcast-owned stations all over the country. Right now, the ball is finally in Ring of Honor’s court with regards to if this company will emerge and become the third major promotion in America or if they will remain an overrated Indy fed. I know I am wishing them all the best and hope that September 24th is the beginning of TNA Wrestling having some competition as the premiere wrestling company in the country.
**The golfing world has a new “next Tiger Woods.” Yeah, we have all heard this time and time again as a new face wins a tournament in an impressive way and then fades into the pack while America looks for another golfer with the ability and charisma of one Tiger Woods. This time, Northern Ireland produced the next Tiger with 22-year old Rory McIlroy.
McIlroy won the 2011 US Open in spectacular fashion with a record-low 16-under par finish at Congressional in Bethesda, Maryland. His score was four strokes better than the previous record-low at the Open, 12-under, shot by Tiger Woods at Pebble Beach in 2000. Winning the Open by eight strokes over his next closest competitor, McIlroy became the youngest winner of the US Open since Bobby Jones won the tournament in 1923. While it was an amazing performance over the course of four days, was it really enough to warrant the sporting world crowning the Northern Ireland native as the next major phenomenon? According the most golfing fans hungry for a new star in the absence of Woods, yes.
NBC analysts sang the praises of McIlroy all day during the final round as there was no competition close to posing a serious threat. The gallery cheered and followed McIlroy’s every move with some chanting “Tiger who?” while glowing in the radiance of the PGA’s new legend. All the while, they conveniently seemed to forget that Rory was the same young man who was dominant in Augusta before blowing up like a hand grenade in the final nine holes of The Masters; a collapse that dropped him from sure victory into a 15th place finish.
Frankly, I’ll be inclined to remember McIlroy more for the tremendous performance at the US Open if he can back it up with a clutch performance in a tournament soon instead of another collapse like in Augusta in April. And, as for the “next Tiger Woods” talk, all I can say to those making that claim is… Really? Really?!? Rory McIlroy is a talented young man but he is a long way before getting his name on the same stratosphere as Tiger Woods.
**Remember when everybody had a MySpace page? Yeah, even The Highlight Reel was found exclusively on MySpace for a long time. Wow, those were the days, huh?
In 2005, MySpace was such a big deal that News Corp. purchased the social media site for $580 million dollars. Amazing what happens in six years. MySpace was recently sold to a group of investors, including Justin Timberlake, for $35 million dollars. That is a drop in buying price of $545 million dollars in almost six years time. Now, I’m no math whiz but that seems like a major price swing caused by a tremendous lack of interest in a product.
What I can’t help but wonder is why Justin Timberlake, of all people, would purchase MySpace? Is this one of the investments he’ll discuss regretting in 20 years when he’s interviewed for his Behind the Music special from the mobile home he’ll be living in ala MC Hammer? I just don’t get it.
**On June 20th, Ryan Dunn of Jackass fame died in a fiery car crash in Pennsylvania. Dunn was one of my personal favorites of the Jackass crew. He was always involved in some of the more interesting stunts and rarely ever stooped to the depth of degradation that Steve-O lives in. Still, Dunn lived in the party and died from the party. Dunn was drunk and driving over 130 mph in a 55 mph zone when he crashed his 2007 Ferrari into a wooded area at 3AM.
RIP, Ryan Dunn. I’ll remember the fun antics from the Jackass shows and films. Hopefully, in passing, he’ll be remembered by others as a symbol that the same party that you love can also ultimately lead to your demise.
CHEERS and JEERS
Superstar of the Week: CM Punk
Seriously, after the promo Punk cut to end RAW this week, how could I not give this honor to the Straight Edge Superstar?
Jerk of the Week: Chris Hansen
I am a big fan of the work of television journalist Chris Hansen. His work on Dateline NBC’s: To Catch A Predator has been groundbreaking in helping to stop pedophiles from meeting children online and potentially harming them in reality. Plus, the program To Catch A Predator is so unintentionally funny that it is among the finest comedies to ever air on television. But, Chris Hansen was busted recently doing something naughty. What’s worse is that he was busted in the same vein that he has sent so many pedophiles to their dream vacation in the State Pen.
Recently, Chris Hansen was busted enjoying a date night with a 30-year old Florida news reporter by a private investigator hired by Hansen’s wife in the same vein that Hansen has busted many potential pedophiles over the years.
Really, Chris? Really? You’re going to fall for the same scheme that you’ve been a part of for years? Now, I give him props for at least keeping with a woman of legal age for his adultery. But, to be busted as part of a sting operation? Shameful, Chris Hansen. Shameful.
POWER RANKINGS - Top 13 Taylor Swift Songs (In honor of Taylor’s recent concert in Greensboro and her favorite number.)
13. “Speak Now” - found on the album Speak Now
12. “The Story of Us” - found on the album Speak Now
11. “Back to December” - found on the album Speak Now
10. “Fearless” - found on the album Fearless
9. “Sparks Fly” - found on the album Speak Now
8. “Tim McGraw” - found on the album Taylor Swift
7. “Love Story” found on the album Fearless
6. “I’m Only Me When I’m With You” - found on the album Taylor Swift
5. “Today Was A Fairytale” - found on the album Valentine’s Day Original Film Soundtrack
4. “You Belong With Me” found on the album Fearless
3. “Picture To Burn” - found on the album Taylor Swift
2. “Mean” - found on the album Speak Now
1. “Should’ve Said No” - found on the album Taylor Swift
BIG A RECOMMENDS…
The ‘Scroom and Swiss Sandwich - currently available at Arby’s
Absolutely delicious. Between the scrumptious roast beef, tasty melted cheese, and delectable mushrooms, this is a sandwich that is a meal. I love it and highly recommend it.
WHAT I LEARNED THIS WEEK…
I haven’t learned much of anything. I guess it could be said that I’m learning how much I can stand but the truth is that I’m closer to my breaking point with every rejection letter, failed job interview, hour spent filling out job applications that ultimately are futile, and day spent looking at an insurmountable mountain of debt with more bills coming and no way to pay them in sight.
I really, really think that I’ve just had enough.
-- Aaron Goins
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