The Highlight Reel presents My WrestleMania Sunday

WrestleMania Sunday Preview 

On Sunday, eyes of the wrestling world will focus on MetLife Stadium in New Jersey for the farce, the disgrace, the sham, and the glorification of part-timers and relics from a day gone by known as WrestleMania XXIX. As a wrestling fan, WrestleMania XXIX cannot pass by without me first previewing the events. Therefore, I am dedicating this edition of The Highlight Reel to WrestleMania Sunday for yours truly.

I have to admit that I am extremely excited. The atmosphere is always electric. The girls are beautiful. The music is the best in the world. Even when I do not agree with the results, I still leave the show glad I was a part of the viewership. What? Is there something confusing you? I will not spend my WrestleMania Sunday watching that unfunny joke in New Jersey. My attention is heading to Las Vegas for the 2013 Academy of Country Music Awards!

Hosted by Blake Shelton and Luke Bryan

I have some serious issues with the nominations for this year’s show as I feel the Academy of Country Music ignored or shafted many talented artists in favor of others who I believe are overrated. This is evident nowhere more than in the Entertainer of the Year category where Jason Aldean, Luke Bryan, Miranda Lambert, Blake Shelton, and Taylor Swift vie for the honor. While all are worthy of the honor in their own right, Carrie Underwood and Kenny Chesney both deserved a nomination for the award based on album sales, chart success, and concert tour success that trumped Bryan, Lambert, Shelton, and even Swift in the last year. Since this is a fan-voted honor, I expect either Swift or Shelton to win the award. However, I believe neither holds a candle in the last year to the real queen of country music – Carrie Underwood.

Wow.  Just WOW.  

Speaking of Underwood, how is she not up for Song of the Year or Single of the Year for “Blown Away?” It was good enough to top the charts for three weeks, win a Grammy, and win other awards but not worthy of a nomination in either category here. Really?! REALLY?! At least the Academy nominated Carrie for Album of the Year for Blown Away and for Female Vocalist of the Year. I am positive that Eric Church’s Chief will get Album of the Year and Miranda Lambert will win Female Vocalist of the Year again. At least the Academy remembered Carrie when it came to nominations. 

Just as Miranda is not worthy of Female Vocalist of the Year again, I do not believe her husband Blake Shelton to be worthy of the Male Vocalist of the Year honor he will receive either. Jason Aldean and Luke Bryan are both more deserving of the award. I fully expect Little Big Town to continue riding their wave of success off “Pontoon” into Vocal Group of the Year even though Lady Antebellum and The Band Perry are both far more deserving winners. Thompson Square should win Vocal Duo of the Year and should be the Best New Artist winners too but ridiculous fan voting meant Shawna and Keifer did not even get a nomination for that honor. 

While I believe the awards will be a joke for the most part, I am still excited about the show for the music. In my opinion, there is no better genre of music than country music. Over the three-hour show on Sunday night, the ACMs will include performances from Carrie Underwood, Lady Antebellum, The Band Perry, Miranda Lambert, Jason Aldean, Kenny Chesney, Luke Bryan, Eric Church, Taylor Swift, and Kelly Clarkson. In addition, for the first time ever, Garth Brooks and George Strait will join forces on a dream collaboration. Tim McGraw, Taylor Swift, and Keith Urban will perform “Highway Don’t Care” and the show opener will see Blake Shelton perform “Boys Round Here” alongside Luke Bryan, Brad Paisley, Sheryl Crow, and the Pistol Annies.

This country music fan will be in music Heaven on Sunday night enjoying the ACM Awards. 

As for that whole WrestleMania thing, well I guess I can make predictions on it. I have not watched WWE fully since the infamous 1000th episode of RAW where the AJ Lee nonsense reached critical mass and the pandering to Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson reached an all-time low (later passed by his magical 2013 WWE Championship reign). Nevertheless, whenever I hear anything about the company, I see that I am not missing anything because I called it all six to eight months ago anyway.

John Cena will win the WWE Championship from Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Dwayne has movies to film beginning in late April and cannot dirty his hands anymore with this WWE nonsense now that he has gotten Snitch, GI Joe: Retaliation, and Pain & Gain all promoted. 

Oh, John Cena is not turning heel either. If Cena turns heel, who is the face of the company? The only other faces of the company who are “draws” in management’s eyes are Dwayne Johnson, The Undertaker, and HHH - part-timers gone next week. CM Punk is a heel. Alberto Del Rio is a mid-carder. Randy Orton and Sheamus are both stale. The Miz is a mid-carder and Dolph Ziggler is a mid-card heel. Rey Mysterio is forever injured. Kofi Kingston is not of the right skin tone for Vince McMahon and is also a mid-carder. Without Cena, they have nothing to draw the children and their parents’ money. So, stop saying Cena is turning heel because WWE cannot afford to go through the 10-month period without the part-timers without a face John Cena.

The Undertaker is going to be 21-0 at the end of the night after CM Punk becomes the latest WrestleMania jobber for Old Man Callaway. If you really think “The Streak” is ending at the hands of a man who has mocked the death of Paul Bearer so openly to torment The Undertaker, I have ocean front property to sell you in Montana because you are an idiot.

Triple H comes out of retirement to defeat Brock Lesnar in a No Holds Barred match where he would retire if he lost. I do not understand why Lesnar just refused the match and allowed Triple H to stay retired but that is all part of the illogical charm that is WWE. Wait, I did not mean charm, I mean annoying reason why I stopped watching that garbage company.

The continued push of The Shield will see Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, and Roman Reigns defeat the team of Big Show, Sheamus, and Randy Orton in a match that builds the trio for their upcoming destruction at the hands of John Cena while also cementing the upcoming heel turn for Randy Orton and annual face turn for Big Show.

Dolph Ziggler continues his free fall from the main event picture with a WWE Tag Team Championship win alongside Big E Langston over Daniel Bryan and Kane. Team Hell No will break up, more than likely with Kane turning heel as Big Show and Kane cannot be heels or faces together. It is just a rule in existence since 1999.

Ryback will defeat Mark Henry. Fandango will defeat Chris Jericho in an example of Vince McMahon’s still-existing bitterness over Jericho leaving WWE to do Dancing with the Stars almost eight years ago. Tons of Funk (Brodus Clay, the shamed Tensai, and the Drunkadactyls) will defeat Team Rhodes Scholars and the Bella Twins as the kids get a bone thrown to them while the career of Cody Rhodes falls deeper into the toilet. In addition, The Miz will win the Intercontinental Championship from Wade Barrett on the preshow because The Marine: Homefront has outperformed Dead Man Down.

The only prediction I cannot stand firmly by is Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger for the World Heavyweight Championship. Swagger’s new gimmick allows Vince McMahon to live vicarious through Swagger and his manager Zeb Colter with every racially motivated rant they have. Yet, Swagger does have a recent DUI arrest on his record. I believe Del Rio will retain simply to maintain a balance in the faces-to-heels victory ratio. Swagger will be champion soon enough though because Vince loves that racist gimmick far too much not to reward it.

I hope whoever watches WrestleMania finds some way to enjoy it. I know that I will enjoy my WrestleMania Sunday because I will be as far from WrestleMania as possible. I will be awash in the glorious music of America at the Academy of Country Music Awards. If you are a professional wrestling fan, I encourage you to join me. Do not allow sports entertainment to steal another Sunday night from you.