World Wrestling Entertainment - Expectations for the 1000th Episode of Monday Night RAW
This upcoming Monday night, World Wrestling Entertainment will air the 1000th episode of Monday Night RAW. That is truly a hell of an accomplishment. Whether you like the current state of World Wrestling Entertainment or not, and we know I do not, the fact is that WWE did something right once upon a time to reach enough leeway where they can reach this magical number in TV history in spite of their current product. On July 23rd, RAW emanates from St. Louis, Missouri with a three-hour spectacular; the first of the permanent three-hour episodes of RAW that will air weekly on USA. In a way, not only is this episode of RAW a celebration of a tremendous accomplishment, this RAW is also potentially the beginning of a new era in World Wrestling Entertainment… potentially.
I believe the reality is that the 1000th episode of RAW is going to be a hot dumpster fire. In essence, this will be a three-hour version of what we have normally watched on Monday nights since 2009. For a three-hour broadcast, World Wrestling Entertainment has announced the following:
- John Cena cashes in his Money in the Bank contract to face WWE Champion CM Punk for the title
- The Wedding of Daniel Bryan and AJ
- The Return of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
- A DX Reunion
- The return of Brock Lesnar to address Triple H’s SummerSlam challenge
- Christian will defend the Intercontinental Championship
- The announcement of a new General Manager
That is what we officially know will happen. In three hours, 180 minutes, or 10,800 seconds - however you want to look at it, fans will get two championship matches. They will also receive a wrestling wedding, a promo (more than likely via satellite) from a Hollywood actor who used to be a wrestler, and TWO Triple H-based promos. In addition, we get a new General Manager because that is SOOOOOOO important. Those are the selling points for this, the 1000th episode of Monday Night RAW.
While it is not official, I would bet good money that we will also see Heath Slater get humiliated by another WWE legend (or a series of legends) because this angle has carried on far too long without this ultimate payoff that no fan is yearning for. Rey Mysterio will face Alberto Del Rio in some shape or form. Hornswoggle or Santino Marella will be a part of some comedy segments, yes segments as in plural, which only Vince McMahon and the dimmest of dimwitted WWE Universe members will find enjoyable. There will be a multi-Diva tag team match that will last three minutes max. We will have multiple backstage segments showing AJ skip while showing off her hipster doofus (or is it doofette?) wedding dress and Chuck Taylor sneakers. The new social media idea that Vince McMahon invested in, Tout, will get shoved down out throats. Finally, I guarantee that Brodus Clay will dance, Ryback will continue his under-whelming Goldberg impression, and “Stone Cold” Steve Austin will appear and remind us all of why we loved RAW in the first place before soul-crushing reality hits as he walks off into retirement again.
I will watch the 1000th episode of RAW and celebrate the accomplishment. One thousand episodes of any show is a tremendous accomplishment. However, I will watch with low expectations. I know that this episode will be just another horrific WWE viewing experience with just enough quality moments to keep me tuned in throughout. That is the current approach I have every Monday night with my weekly ventures into the WWE Universe. I want to believe that one of these Monday nights will be the night a new era begins as World Wrestling Entertainment returns to a level of quality, excitement, and action that wrestling fans loved before. Sadly, that Monday night never comes. It certainly is not coming up this Monday night.
Congratulations to World Wrestling Entertainment on 1,000 episodes of Monday Night RAW. Now, go out there and… don’t suck. You do not have to be great. Hell, you do not have to be good. A mediocre viewing experience would be an outstanding viewing experience. You have three hours and a show set-up with the potential for success. Just don’t suck. I know. That is a tall order to ask from today’s World Wrestling Entertainment.
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