This edition of The Highlight Reel is my running diary of thoughts throughout Super Bowl XLVI as composed on Facebook, Twitter, and on paper. A lot of it may not make sense. A lot of it may not be funny, smart, or meaningful out of the context of the moment. However, this is a special edition. Something new. This is Super Bowl XLVI through the eyes of yours truly.
SUPER BOWL XLVI by the Minute
1:25pm - Started watching SportsNation with Michelle Beadle from the DVR. Herm Edwards is in instead of Colin Cowherd. Also, Beadle has puppies on the show. She’s so happy and that makes me happy.
1:47pm - Super Bowl Sunday!!! Wooo! Kicking things off with SportsNation’s Puppy Bowl. Michelle Beadle, Herm Edwards, breaking news, and puppies! Check out that tweet and tell me you don’t love her... and I’ll call you a liar, Good Sir.
2:19pm - Michelle’s taking Giants. Jett, the puppy, is taking the Giants. I’m pulling for the Giants but still think Patriots win big. Beadle is 2-0 though.
3:15pm - Pizza and sub from Jerry’s Pizza is here. Beer is cold. Super Bowl Sunday is now officially ON!
3:30pm - NBC is trying to make the Patriots less villainous by interviewing owner Bob Kraft about the death of his beloved wife, Myra Kraft. It has worked... almost.
3:37pm - The Hunger Games can’t get here quick enough!
3:55pm - What in the bluest of blue hell was that song and dance from the NBC employees? Wow. Just, wow. It was charming though.
4:04pm - F*ck Madonna! Worst Halftime Show Ever! Calling it already.
4:06pm - Madonna, you were chose for halftime because the people booking the show think it's 1985. Shut your hole, you filthy, diseased, overrated hack!
4:11pm - It’s time for the David Tyree Story.
4:26pm - Lenny Kravitz is performing. In a couple of months, he’ll be known only as a character in The Hunger Games film.
4:34pm - President Obama is talking. NOOOOOOOO!
4:45pm - Alex Flanagan is just mmm, mmm, good.
4:46pm - Alex Flanagan sighting. @TheSauce66 is fapping. - via Twitter
4:56pm - The Steve Gleason story is breaking my heart right now. God bless him.
5:40pm - Took a break from pregame and came back to Optimus Prime and Megatron taking over. I’m not drunk either.
5:41pm - Okay, it’s almost game time. Here’s the $64,000 question - Who You Got?!?
5:43pm - My heart screams “Geaux Giants” (See what I did there? Pandering.) But, I’m picking the Patriots, 31-17. Hopefully my girlfriend (yeah, I said it) Michelle Beadle is right and it’ll be the Giants
5:47pm - Aaron Rodgers looks bitter while praising Eli and Brady. Discount Double Check the attitude, man. You lost.
5:49pm - My father is taking “The Giants over... ahhh... arghhh. Dem, dem, dem other boys.” I think he’s taking the Giants because he can’t say Patriots.
5:54pm - And, The Beavis is taking the Giants. Her quote, “F*ck Tom Brady.” My mom is pretty damn cool, LOL.
5:58pm - Did they just run an ad for Meredith Vierra interviewing an intern who banged President John F. Kennedy?!? WTF, NBC!
6:00pm - Faith Hill is on! Oh, Shucky, Ducky, Quack, Quack!
6:04pm - “Here. We. Go. Giants by 3. And pay attention to the commercials right after 1st and 3rd quarters. Might just blow your mind (lessons taken)” - Michelle Beadle via Twitter. Now, I’m stoked!
6:09pm - The Patriots should come out to the music of the Black Eyed Peas… only way to make them more hated.
6: 15pm - Blake and Miranda! Loving it! Why are they not playing halftime?
6:18pm - Again! Oh, Shucky, ducky, quack, quack! Kelly Clarkson!
6:26pm - New England draws first blood and wins coin toss.
6:31pm - CM Punk, Jim Ross, and Michelle Beadle should be calling this game. Just saying.
6:40pm - Why can’t Jason Voorhees show up and kill all of these hipster vampire posers? #Audi Commercial
6:41pm - 2-0 Giants. Tom Brady just f’ed up!
6:51pm - 12 men on the field? New England is killing themselves early with mistakes. Belichick should have coached them up instead of lurking under an Indianapolis bridge this week.
7:02pm - MICHELLE BEADLE IN A COMMERCIAL!!! Ahhhhhh! *Marked out for a moment* Troy Aikman there too was a bonus. Aikman is a God.
7:04pm - Uh-oh! @MichelleDBeadle just stole the show. Best Super Bowl commercial yet. - via Twitter
7:10pm - Nothing makes me want to do my taxes like swimming in my own urine. Lame job, TaxAct.
7:15pm - Howard Stern is on America’s Got Talent? Shouldn’t the judges have talent? #OverratedHack
7:48pm - Danny Woodhead has come to play! Great drive from the little man. TD Pats.
7:51pm - 10-9 Patriots at halftime and New England gets the ball first in the second half... the momentum may be in the Evil Empire’s favor.
8:02pm - Holy sh*t! Was Madonna wearing Triple H’s “Gonad the Barbarian” attire from WrestleMania 22?
8:06pm - I miss Halftime Heat.
8:10pm - Kelly Clarkson, Blake Shelton, Miranda Lambert were all just there. Could they not have given them the spotlight to give fans a great show?
8:14pm - Sweet Baby Jesus, it’s over! Don’t ever let Madonna within 500 miles of Halftime ever again!
8:15pm - Betty White saves the day once again!
8:19pm - CLINT EASTWOOD IS KILLING IT RIGHT NOW! Love this ad from Clint... He’s giving Morgan Freeman a run for his money in voice-over greatness.
8:24pm - What?!? Was that Ochocinco?!? I thought he was dead!
8:28pm - Tom Brady just committed murder. He killed the Giants defense. 17-9
8:41pm - That Fiat commercial just gave me a boner that could club baby seals.
8:44pm - JPP is hurting. This may hurt NY more than anything. #GetUpMan
8:50pm - Oh Michelle is back in a commercial! Say it with me, y’all! SHUCKY DUCKY QUACK QUACK!!!
8:51pm - Well Aaron Goins, Jr. is gonna be happy, there’s his girl again. - via Chris Knight
8:52pm - Woo, woo, woo! You know it! - response to Chris
8:53pm - The smirk of @MichelleDBeadle during the baby test > any other SB46 commercial. Fact. - via Twitter
8:54pm - Did Al Michaels just say “Fondling some beads?” I know a Beads I’d like to be fondling but... I swore he just said that. LOL
8:59pm - Had to post the link. Best tweet of the night yet. Even had the smirk I loved in the commercial. Beadle is crushing the commercials.
Went to the bathroom. Came out. Boom. #obnoxioustweet #hadtodoit #wonthappenagain - via Michelle Beadle’s twitter
9:02pm - 4th quarter coming up. Pats up 17-15. New York has GOT to put the ball in the end zone. Field goals alone won’t win. This isn’t college.
9:03pm - Huge INT!!! Gronk got GRONKED
9:06pm - This Ferris Bueller commercial just killed a part of my childhood.
9:13pm - Here We Go! That dog might make me give up the cats, lol.
9:13pm - When are we gonna get the Coke Polar Bear ad where they get Type 2 diabetes from all the Coke?
9:17pm - What is up with this poor usage of the time outs, Stephen Matthew King? I know you got inside knowledge.
9:29pm - The first down may have been the ball game. Giants are letting New England eat too much clock away.
9:32pm - Eli’s time to prove his worth.
9:34pm - That’s a catch. Don’t overturn this for Rumpelstiltskin Belichick.
9:38pm - The dark lord is not pleased with that call. *Belichick puts his hood on*
9:41pm - Two minutes for the rest of your lives.
9:47pm - Touchdown!
9:47pm - Crazy, crazy moment. Trying to explain strategy to Frank is insane too. I should know better.
9:48pm - The drops are going to kill New England.
9:49pm - Justin TUCK! Crushing life and Tom Brady!
9:53pm - Congrats New York Giants!!! Great finish! 21-17 Giants win!
9:54pm - Eli Manning just punched his ticket to the Hall of Fame! FACT!
10:00pm - Eli Manning is ELIte but Mario Manningham is the most clutch man of the night. What a catch. Wow!
10:03pm - Would like to point out that in @SportsNation history: @MichelleDBeadle is 3-0 @ESPN_Colin is 0-3 in SBowl picks. @GabeTheWP get this on-air. - via Twitter
10:08pm - Eli Manning should be allowed to have Gisele Bundchen as his concubine for a month after this.
10:10pm - Well... 214 days until football season starts again. What do we do now, kids?
10:13pm - And @ESPN_Colin is working on his excuses now... long night for him. Give him hell tomorrow @MichelleDBeadle & @SportsNation crew. - via Twitter
10:14pm - The Walking Dead returns next week. Same level of excitement, right @theknightshift? - via Twitter
10:52pm - So, I have that for my profile picture for a week. Lesson learned. I will never, ever, got against Michelle Beadle’s prediction again. Mama tried to save me. #PatriotsFailed #LessoLearned
CHEERS and JEERS
Superstar of the Week: The New York Giants
In a competitive rematch of Super Bowl XLII, the New York Giants defeated the New England Patriots for a second time in four seasons as the G-Men won Super Bowl XLVI 21-17. For a second time on the biggest stage of them all, Eli Manning and Tom Coughlin went into battle as underdogs against the much heralded and respected Tom Brady and Bill Belichick and came out victorious. The New York Giants were 9-7 in the regular season. In December, they were 7-7 with fans calling for the heads of Eli Manning and Tom Coughlin. Now, both men are Hall of Fame worthy after another miraculous run ending in victory over the Patriots. Congratulations to the New York Giants. Four Super Bowl Championships. Two Super Bowl MVP awards for Eli Manning. Immortality for the G-Men.
Jerk of the Week: Aaron Goins
Yeah, I am the jerk of the week. I know better than to pick against Michelle Beadle. I know better than to ever pick the New England Patriots for anything. Yet, I went against my gut, my heart, and my Amore as I selected the New England Patriots to win the Super Bowl. Now, I have the following for a Facebook profile picture for a week.
Yes. I have a baby picture from Brian McNail as my punishment for selecting New England. I should have never picked the Patriots. Now, I am suffering. However, I have also learned a valuable lesson (known in some circles as a lesso): never doubt Michelle Beadle. Much like when you doubt El Dandy, bad things come to those who doubt the Beadster.
WHAT I LEARNED THIS WEEK…
It is simple. Never, ever, pick against Michelle Beadle on the Super Bowl. Bad things will happen if you do.
Also, I had the importance of the National Football League reconfirmed in the form of a Super Bowl experience that was simply magical. Even with two teams playing that I normally loathe, the game was an event that I would not miss. It was a happening like no other. I feel sorry for those who willingly missed the moment in American history as they missed sharing an experience with a record 111 million viewers at home and millions more watching around the world. Only the greatest in sports can create this… happening. The World Cup. The Olympics. The Super Bowl. The other two only come around every four years but the Super Bowl is a once a year moment that connects the country and the world. Regardless of social status, age, gender, race, sexual orientation, or any other way that divides us, Super Bowl Sunday is a day when we all are one thing: football fans. I love this game.
Until next season, be good to yourself and each other…
- Aaron Goins
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