These four things I know are true…
- WrestleMania XXVII was a complete flop.
- The 2011 NCAA Tournament was one of the greatest tournaments ever tarnished by one bad game.
- I’m afraid the Miami Heat may just win it all.
- And, I’m Aaron Goins. Check out all my thoughts and more (including the man they call Schwartzel!)… in The Highlight Reel!
NEWS and NOTES
**WrestleMania XXVII has came and went with little positive coming from the biggest show of the year for World Wrestling Entertainment. For the first time since 1996, I did not watch WrestleMania live as it happened. I knew from the minute this card began to take shape that it was going to be a complete dud. While I am guilty of overreacting in many cases, I was right on the money regarding WrestleMania XXVII as the results I read after the final bell rang in Atlanta were among the most awful in the history of WrestleMania.
Usually, the last man seen on-screen at WrestleMania is the big winner of the night, the man who stood tall and victorious after the main event. At WrestleMania XXVII, the final man on-screen was Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. He was the guest host for the event. Instead of The Miz standing tall after successfully defending the WWE Championship against John Cena, Dwayne Johnson was the last man standing after interfering in the title match; assaulting Cena during the match and The Miz after the match. It was a move that reeked of the ego-appeasing mess that occurred at WrestleMania IX for Hulk Hogan at the expense of Bret Hart and Yokozuna. Dwayne got himself over more while the product suffered for it.
WrestleMania had one match that lived up to the stage it was on: The Undertaker vs. Triple H. These two battled for 30 minutes in a war that featured old-school professional wrestling at it’s finest. While I mocked this match for weeks leading up to it, the fact that it was a WrestleMania-worthy outing has me interested in seeing the match on DVD. Twitter was abuzz after the match, Michelle Beadle raved about it during Winners Bracket the following Saturday, and the internet had nothing but glowing reviews about the match. While the result was nothing special, The Undertaker defeating Triple H at WrestleMania again, the journey on the way to that result was something special.
One match gained national attention and has been a lightening rod for controversy: John Morrison, Trish Stratus, and MTV Jersey Shore’s Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi defeated Dolph Ziggler, Layla, and Michelle McCool. Snooki pinned McCool to win the match and was featured on ESPN, Entertainment Tonight, TMZ, and all over the internet. While WWE gained the attention they wanted, the match also has been the subject of a lot of backstage scrutiny. John Morrison refused to take suggestions for the match from Trish Stratus before the match and snubbed Stratus in the ring after the match. While this gained Morrison backstage heat because of the respect the locker room has for Trish, the reasons for Morrison’s actions have also garnered heat. Morrison acted this way because his girlfriend, WWE Diva Melina, believed that Trish took her spot in the match. Now, Snooki’s involvement took Kelly Kelly out of WrestleMania but Melina was never penciled into the match to begin with. Sadly, this attitude from Melina is just one of the terrible traits the beauty has that John Morrison is paying for via his connection to her. More on that in this week’s Jerk of the Week section.
As for the other results, Edge defeated Alberto Del Rio to retain the World Heavyweight Championship while the United States Championship match between Sheamus and Daniel Bryan was removed from the main card. Randy Orton pinned CM Punk and Cody Rhodes defeated Rey Mysterio in matches that were labeled solid but nothing special. Big Show, Kane, Santino Marella, and Kofi Kingston beat The Corre in an eight-man squash that lasted 90 seconds. Plus, Michael Cole defeated Jerry Lawler by disqualification in a 20-minute long spectacle that should have those responsible hanging from a noose.
All in all, WrestleMania XXVII will not go down as the worst WrestleMania of all-time. But, it is safely in the Bottom Five for worst of all-time as it fits right alongside II, IX, XI, and last year’s steaming mess.
**While WrestleMania XXVII was a huge joke, it was not the biggest joke to come out of Atlanta, Georgia during the weekend. That came in the form of Vince McMahon announcing that World Wrestling Entertainment was no more. Instead, WWE was simply WWE. The acronym stands for nothing; much like Vince McMahon apparently stands for nothing too.
In a press conference, Vince McMahon re-branded WWE with the tagline: Bigger, Badder, Better. McMahon stated that the company is “more than the wrestling program” and announced that the company was going to invest more into movies and other endeavors non-wrestling related. Immediately, this news was greeted with jeers from professional wrestling fans and also from Wall Street analysts who, acknowledging the failures of the WWE New York nightclub, the XFL football league, and WWE Studios (thus far), suggested that stockholders sell immediately or risk the stocks becoming more worthless than they already are.
One of the reasons I hate Dwayne Johnson and refuse to call him The Rock is because, in the way he went to Hollywood and began his new career, Johnson forgot where he came from. Johnson pissed on the wrestling business until he needed those wrestling fans once again. Now, he has crawled back and is pandering to the mindless sheep who are accepting him and his lies with open arms. With this move, Vince McMahon has now gone on record as officially forgetting where he came from. With wrestling removed from the name and marquee, WWE is a façade. It is a wrestling company that refuses to acknowledge what it truly is and I am supposed to accept this without having my intelligence insulted. I’m not as delusional as Vince McMahon nor as stupid as the children he panders to endlessly. While I watch the product because I am a wrestling fan, I will not play the game that Vince is trying to make fans play. WWE is World Wrestling Entertainment; even though there is very little wrestling and even less entertainment.
**The 2011 NCAA Tournament will forever be remembered as one of the greatest college basketball tournaments of all-time. The upsets were magical. The field was wide-open, competitive, and it showed with the favorites all falling as the Final Four were Connecticut, Kentucky, and dual Cinderella stories Butler and Virginia Commonwealth. While everything about the tournament was spectacular and magical heading into the finals, the finals between Butler and UConn was anything but magical.
Riding an amazing wave of momentum from early march and the Big East Tournament through the NCAA Tournament, the Connecticut Huskies defeated the Butler Bulldogs 59-41 in one of the ugliest games I’ve ever seen and the worst NCAA Tournament Final ever in the history of the tournament. Guard Kemba Walker carried his squad on his back to the National Championship in the same vein that Carmelo Anthony carried the Syracuse Orangemen to the title in 2003 with an impressive set of games that made this young man millions at the next level. Congrats to the UConn Huskies on their third National Championship. Too bad that the stench of that horrendous final game will overshadow the rest of a terrific tournament.
**Instead of watching WrestleMania XXVII on April 3rd, I enjoyed a much better show as I sat back and watched the 46th annual Academy of Country Music Awards. The show was filled with outstanding performances from Carrie Underwood and Steven Tyler, Taylor Swift, Miranda Lambert, Brad Paisley and Alabama, Zac Brown Band and James Taylor, Jason Aldean, Dierks Bentley, The Band Perry, and Sugarland’s Jennifer Nettles and Rihanna.
As for the awards, I disagreed with some of them but not enough to feel outraged. Taylor Swift walked away with the fan-voted Entertainer of the Year award. Brad Paisley won Top Male Vocalist for a fifth consecutive year while Miranda Lambert won Top Female Vocalist along with three awards for “The House That Built Me.” Lady Antebellum walked away with Top Vocal Group and Album of the Year for Need You Now while The Band Perry won Top New Artist. While I love Taylor Swift, Lady Antebellum should have been Entertainer of the Year and were not even nominated. Also, Miranda’s awesome but not that awesome. All in all though, a great show and great night for country music that I will be enjoy again on the various replays on GAC.
**TNA Lockdown is emanating from Cincinnati, Ohio on April 17th with a loaded card that should make any fan who bought WrestleMania feel stupid when they could have spent that money on this event instead. Even with the gimmick of every match being held inside a steel cage, something I have not liked since the event’s inception, the card is loaded from top to bottom with potentially great matches and the blow-offs to some outstanding feuds.
In the main event, TNA World Champion Sting will face Mr. Anderson and Rob Van Dam in a three-way dance between two former champions who have yet to receive a proper rematch and the returning Icon who has yet to receive a real challenge since returning and dethroning Jeff Hardy in February. Also, in another main event match-up, the most intense rivalry in professional wrestling today comes to a head when Kurt Angle goes one-on-one with Jeff Jarrett. From stealing ex-wives and children to bloody beat-downs and public humiliation, Angle and Jarrett have been at one another’s throats for months. Lockdown will see the end to their war.
Lethal Lockdown returns with Fortune taking on Immortal as Kazarian, Robert Roode and James Storm of Beer Money, and Christopher Daniels (substituting for the injured AJ Styles) take on “Nature Boy” Ric Flair, Matt Hardy, Bully Ray, and Abyss in TNA’s version of the classic War Games match. Also, the Mickie James-Madison Rayne war comes to a head with Mickie’s final Knockouts title opportunity coming in a Hair vs. Title match.
Also, Matt Morgan faces Hernandez in one-on-one action, Samoa Joe faces “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero, the return of The British Invasion (Douglas Williams and Magnus) takes place in a four-way dance with the teams of Ink, Inc., Scott Steiner and Crimson, and Orlando Jordan and Eric Young, and an eight-man X-Division Escape match will occur with Amazing Red, Jeremy Buck, Max Buck, Brian Kendrick, Jay Lethal, Robbie E, Chris Saban, and Suicide.
If I still bought wrestling pay-per-view events, I would buy Lockdown in a heartbeat. I’m eagerly awaiting the results as they come in on April 17th from the Lockdown pay-per-view event. It’s a loaded night full of intense wrestling rivalries coming to a head under the spotlight of the PPV stage. Lockdown is potentially everything that WrestleMania XXVII was supposed to be.
**The NBA Playoffs begin this upcoming weekend and I’m very excited. Sadly, I also have some fears that the worst possible thing could occur: the Miami Heat could win it all.
In the Eastern Conference, the seeding is not completely set but the Chicago Bulls and MVP (should be anyway) Derrick Rose will have home-court advantage throughout the playoffs. While the Bulls have home-court advantage, they also have a lot of inexperience in the playoffs. Under the pressure of the big stage, I fear that they could fall to the Miami Heat. Yeah, the same Heat I loathe because of LeBron James. The Boston Celtics essentially killed their chances with the trade that sent Kendrick Perkins to Oklahoma City and Rajon Rondo into a funk while the Orlando Magic have all the talent and none of the heart to be a factor. The Hawks, Knicks, 76ers, and Pacers are irrelevant leaving only the Bulls and the Heat in the East. While Chicago has owned Miami in the regular season, the Heat do have tons of playoff experience in James and Wade. Plus, I think that the hatred he’s gained over this season may actually fuel LeBron enough to do something he’s never done before in the playoffs: try. As good as Rose is, an experience Dwayne Wade and trying LeBron James will trump even the MVP in a seven game series.
Meanwhile, the wild, wild Western Conference is loaded with grizzled veterans and youthful exuberance that will make this a tremendous conference to watch in the playoffs. The San Antonio Spurs have home-court advantage throughout the playoffs. Yet, I don’t think they are the overwhelming favorites in the West. The Los Angeles Lakers are still the champs and will be the top dogs until they are dethroned even though they are heading into the playoffs on a losing streak that could ultimately see them enter as a #4 seed. I still have more faith in them than the perennial-underachieving Dallas Mavericks. However, I believe that the Oklahoma City Thunder could make some waves in the playoffs despite their playoff inexperience. With superstars Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook, and playoff-experienced Kendrick Perkins, the Thunder could do some damage. Also, I think the Denver Knicks, I mean Nuggets, could do some damage in the playoffs while the Trail Blazers, Hornets, and Grizzlies are unimportant.
When the dusts settles from the playoffs, I think that the NBA Finals will be contested between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Miami Heat. There is too much talent, experience, and hype for the NBA to not have this championship match-up take place. And, in the ultimate act of betrayal by the sporting Gods, I really think that the Miami Heat have been toying with us all this regular season as they will put it together and finally win the big games that matter when they matter most. I hope I’m wrong but fear I’m right in predicting a Miami Heat victory in the NBA Finals.
**The main event for WrestleMania XXVIII in Miami, Florida on April 1st, 2012 is already signed. Yeah, that is not a typo. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson will finally wrestle after stealing the spotlight at WrestleMania XXVII in a match at WrestleMania XXVIII against John Cena in a match called by many a “dream match.” While I’m not a fan of either man, I would agree that it is a dream match I’d love to see if both were in their prime. But, it is not a match I’m going to be drooling over for a year like Vince McMahon believes fans will do. Johnson-Cena is set until Johnson’s movie career picks up and obligations get him pulled from the match. It’ll be interesting to see what really is the main event at WrestleMania XXVIII.
**Is there anyone more hot in Hollywood right now than Russell Brand? For some reason that I can’t see, Russell Brand is the current “It” guy in Hollywood. He married Katy Perry, is paid millions for his roles in comedies that have really not been that funny (Get Him to the Greek was God-awful and Forgetting Sarah Marshall was overrated), and is currently in the #1 and #2 movies at the box office: Hop and Arthur.
While Brand comes off wonderfully in interviews, I just have yet to see anything he’s been in that makes him worth the money and praise that he has been receiving lately. But, he must be doing something right. After all, he’s an ugly cuss and landed Katy Perry. Props.
**My annual Top 50 Most Beautiful Women in the World list is coming on April 28th. Can’t wait to reveal the real list of the most beautiful women in the world; a list that puts those jokes like FHM and Maxim to shame.
And, in speaking of beautiful women, I immediately have to mention one of the front-runners of the 2011 list: Michelle Beadle! After breaking her ankle is February, Beadle is back to 100% two months later with no cast or brace on that injured right ankle. Michelle is back to rocking her sexy heels, showing off those gorgeous legs, and dropping knowledge all over Colin Cowherd on SportsNation and Marcellus Wiley on Winners Bracket.
CHEERS and JEERS
Superstar of the Week: Charl Schwartzel
The Masters is quickly becoming one of my favorite weekends of the year. I have always enjoyed the tournament even when I wasn’t a fan of golf. But, the last few years, The Masters have gone from an event you should watch to must-see TV. This year’s tournament was no exception. Rory McIlroy collapsed in epic fashion on the back nine from the lead to 15th. Tiger Woods emerged from his mediocrity to finish in a tie for 4th and lead at one point in the final round. At various points in the day, 10 golfers had a share of the lead. In the end though, South African golfer Charl Schwartzel finished the final round in historic fashion with four consecutive birdies to win his first green jacket as Schwartzel won The Masters.
Schwartzel’s victory was the culmination of a terrific weekend of golf. From collapses to returns, a crowded leader board that stayed competitive and unpredictable to the very end, Schwartzel is the Superstar of a tournament that was a Superstar itself.
Jerk of the Week: John Morrison and Melina
As mentioned earlier in the WrestleMania recap, John Morrison has received a ton of backstage heat among management and fellow Superstars for his unprofessional behavior towards Trish Stratus over WrestleMania weekend. While John Morrison, the wrestler, in a blue-chip talent who should be among the most regarded competitors in the WWE, John Morrison, the man, has proven himself to be one of the biggest pussy-whipped pieces of human garbage in the business because of how he allows himself to be ruled by his girlfriend Melina.
Years ago, while Morrison and Melina were dating, Melina had an affair with Dave Batista behind Morrison’s back. Instead of being a man and fighting for his woman or dumping the floozy in question, John Morrison allowed it to go on and never spoke up. A majority of the locker room and management, including Vince McMahon, saw this as a punk move and Morrison lost respect in the eyes of the company. Then, rumors came that Morrison allowed Melina to sleep with others while on the road as long as he stayed her boyfriend in a relationship making him a cuckold. Frankly, Morrison is a pussy-whipped punk. Now, he’s allowing Melina’s complaints to influence the way he conducts his business in the right as evident by his disrespect to Trish Stratus.
I respect the talent of John Morrison. But, Morrison has allowed a warped relationship with Melina to take him from one of the brightest stars in the company in 2007 to one of the more prevalent underachievers of World Wrestling Entertainment in 2011. Melina needs to straighten her act up as a woman and John Morrison needs to get his pair out of her purse before he is wished well on his future endeavors and forever known as the Marty Jannetty to The Miz’s Shawn Michaels.
POWER RANKINGS - Ultimate Dream Matches
5. Chris Jericho vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage
4. Chris Benoit vs. CM Punk
3. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin vs. “Nature Boy” Ric Flair
2. Ricky “the Dragon” Steamboat vs. “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels
1. Bret “Hitman” Hart vs. Kurt Angle in a Submission match
BIG A RECOMMENDS…
1/3 lb Mushroom and Swiss Thickburger - available at Hardee’s
As we all know, there is nothing Big A enjoys more than a good burger. I love mushrooms too. So, what’s better than Mushroom and Swiss Thickburger from the good people at Hardee’s? Nothing, that’s what. Get one now people. It’s good eating.
WHAT I LEARNED THIS WEEK…
Bitches be trippin’ and haters are gonna hate. But, as long as you are true to yourself, believe in your opinions with all of your being, and refuse to cater to popular opinion or back down to the haters, you will be right in the end. I’ve learned that from people who have integrity and don’t give in to the pressures of the hater-filled majority regardless of what fans/friends it may cost them in the end. It’s better to have that integrity and be liked by fewer than to ever be a phony flip-flopper loved by the majority of the moment.
- Aaron Goins
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