- Life is far too short.
- The Royal Rumble was a great pay-per-view at one time. Not anymore though.
- Blake Griffin is a beast while Ricky Gervais is just sad.
- And, I’m Aaron Goins. All my thoughts on these topics and so much more (including Super Bowl XLV)… in The Highlight Reel!
NEWS and NOTES
**Super Bowl XLV is a week away and, for the first time in a long time, I was correct in predicting one of the teams involved. If you all remember, it was yours truly who said the Green Bay Packers would play in the Super Bowl on February 6th. Granted, I said they would face the Baltimore Ravens and that was a mistake but I am still pretty proud of picking one team correctly after a couple of seasons of prediction ineptitude.
The Green Bay Packers have been the hottest team in football over the last six weeks. Behind the rocket arm of quarterback Aaron Rodgers and the defensive leadership of linebacker Clay Matthews, the Packers head into Dallas, Texas to face the Pittsburgh Steelers. Led by the irresistible force (at least for women in bars, even if they say “no”) that is Ben Roethlisberger, the Steelers had a tremendous season and are reaching their third Super Bowl in six seasons. While Roethlisberger is the face (but not the mugshot despite his past two off seasons) of the organization, the Steelers really are a success based on the play of defensive standouts Troy Polamalu, James Harrison, James Farrior, and Aaron Smith.
I have been pulling for the Green Bay Packers since these playoffs began because of the opposition they have encountered. In the Wild Card Round, the Packers took out Michael Vick and the Philadelphia Eagles and then they eliminated the vastly overrated Atlanta Falcons before finally dumping President Obama’s Chicago Bears in the NFC Championship. While the New York Jets were my favorites in the AFC because of my allegiance to Michelle Beadle, the Steelers did earn their trip to Dallas with victories over the Ravens and the Jets in the AFC Championship so I can’t hate on them for any reason other than the un-convicted rapist at quarterback.
Considering the reasons why I have pulled for them thus far, I will be pulling for the Green Bay Packers in Super Bowl XLV. I am pulling for the Packers but I believe that the Pittsburgh Steelers will win Super Bowl XLV. Roethlisberger forces his will onto opposing defenses in big games much like he does to young women in bars during the off-season while the Steeler defense is practically unstoppable. Green Bay will give the Steelers a fight but the Super Bowl is ultimately Pittsburgh’s victory to be had.
**On Sunday, the 24th annual Royal Rumble will take place from Boston, Massachusetts. The Royal Rumble is one of those rare pay-per-view events in professional wrestling that still means something. It is a traditional event, one of the original four or “Big Four” alongside the Survivor Series, SummerSlam, and WrestleMania, that doesn’t need a huge amount of hype or any of the gimmicky bells and whistles used with today’s 39 PPV events to make a wrestling fan excited. The Royal Rumble is important without explanation. Well, it used to be.
On January 30th, 2011, the Royal Rumble will officially be ruined forever with the first ever 40-man Royal Rumble match. Yes, a 40-man Royal Rumble match. As if the 30-man Rumble wasn’t gimmicky enough, the brain trust of World Wrestling Entertainment (i.e. Vince McMahon in the early stages of dementia) decided “Hey! Let’s put another 10 jobbers in there for Cena to toss out. Hey! Cubs win, Cubs WIN!” Yes, Vince has started turning into a Will Ferrell as Harry Carry impersonation before our very eyes. Seriously though, the 30-man Rumble match that fans loved for over 20 years has now been replaced by a 40-man Rumble match that will extend the mediocrity of the current product by about 15 minutes. Why was the change made, you ask? Apparently, Vince McMahon woke up one morning and decided to do it. There was nothing long-term about the change. All of the promotional material was already out and the match had been promoted on TV already as the traditional 30-man Royal Rumble match we all knew and loved. Then, channeling his inner Vince Russo, Vince McMahon decided to shake things up (of course, not for the better).
The move has been met with general distain by everyone not currently receiving a paycheck from World Wrestling Entertainment. Current Superstars are excited while former Superstars say the match reeks of desperation. Jim Ross is slurping the idea on his blog while secretly crying into his cowboy hat. But, one unnamed source within the company summed up this year’s Rumble match perfectly. The source said, “When you have 30 guys who are not over and you add ten more guys, it isn’t special. It’s like adding vanilla to vanilla.”
Sure, there was a time where this move could have been done and it would have been amazing. But, that time has come and long since past. When upgrading the Rumble match consists of adding such contenders as Primo, Darren Young, Yoshi Tatsu, and all of the jobber members from both Nexus Hollywood and Wolfpac (I mean New Nexus and the Corre), all that has really occurred is the WWE has turned the prestigious Royal Rumble match into the much-maligned World War III battle royal that WCW created in the late 1990s. And, I thought TNA was the new WCW. Silly internet wrestling fans, you haven’t got a damn clue either. Back to the Rumble, the addition of these additional 10 contenders have only added another 10 30-second entries who will get a pay day doing a group job session to the real Rumble potential winners: John Cena, a returning Triple H, John Cena, a returning Undertaker, or John Cena.
I am going to miss the Royal Rumble. All great things must come to an end. It’s just sad that the Royal Rumble has to end in a blaze of incompetence at the hands of an idiotic man who has made billions on the wrestling business and is now killing that same business before our very eyes.
**After watching my interest in the sport decline by leaps and bounds over the past eight years, I can now officially say it: NASCAR is dead to me. What caused this, you ask? The powers that be in NASCAR have destroyed an already raped and pillaged sport by redoing the points system and making the act of winning races more worthless than ever. Plus, the Chase has been tinkered with again to now make NASCAR’s playoffs include almost half the field as the Cup title has been watered down even more.
The new points system that will “simplify” things for the common fan, as the powers that be in NASCAR describe their fans, works like this: the winner of a race will score 43 points, 2nd scores 42 points, 3rd, scores 41 points, etc. until the last place finisher scores one single point. At the end of 26 races, the Chase begins with the Top Ten in points plus the next two drivers with the most wins not currently in the Chase. What they will do should only nine guys have wins and all currently be in the Top Ten in points is a problem they can deal with because I certainly won’t give a damn. Using this points system, a driver could win nine races and finish outside the Top 30 in one race and still not be champion if another driver finished in the Top Ten in every race during that same ten race stretch. That’s not an overreaction either, it’s basic math.
NASCAR has essentially committed suicide with this move. While the sport was never going to reclaim it’s once-promising spot among the top sports in America, NASCAR still had the potential to be the premiere auto sport in the world. Now, I don’t think even that is possible. The Indy Car Series never make these terrible moves or cater to fair-weather fans because they understand their place and understand loyalty towards the fans they’ve had for generations. That loyalty is why I prefer the action and the excitement of the Indy Car Series for my auto racing fix. NASCAR is the WWE of the sporting world: too gimmicked and run on ineptitude to a point of dying before our very eyes.
**One of the things that makes me sick when I think of professional wrestling is how the majority of fans who actually are vocal about the sport do nothing but complain and blast TNA for attempting to offer them something different from WWE. It seems as though having Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, and Ric Flair on the roster working in any semblance whatsoever completely negates all of the tremendous matches had by the Motor City Machine Guns and Beer Money or AJ Styles and Douglas Williams. They nullify talents like Ken Anderson, Kurt Angle, Matt Morgan, Samoa Joe, D’Angelo Dinero, and the countless other young athletes busting their ass trying to be professional wrestlers. Those three cancel out any spectacular efforts by women like Mickie James, Tara, Madison Rayne, and Angelina Love. Hogan, Bischoff, and Flair are apparently the devil.
That mentality is absolutely stupid as these three men are among the most important men in the history of professional wrestling. More importantly, they also have made their name and maintained their name without having to kiss Vince McMahon’s ass. They realize that Vince McMahon is NOT the end all, be all of the business and they have given TNA as much of a rub as they could in order to give fans a wrestling alternative. But, of course, because they didn’t die in the ring or job out to every single person on the roster within 20 minutes of arrival, they are the devil.
It is that mindset held by a majority of my idiotic brotherhood that have countless wrestling “fans” missing out on some of the best wrestling in the world. At the Genesis pay-per-view, Ken Anderson finally grabbed the brass ring when he defeated Jeff Hardy for the TNA World Championship after winning a number one contendership match over Matt Morgan on the same night. While Mr. Anderson’s emergence as TNA Champion has changed the face of the company, the injury bug has hit TNA in a way that is a major negative as both AJ Styles (hip) and Alex Shelley (broken collarbone) are set to miss significant ring time. But, the injury bug is not stopping the Immortal-TNA angle from finally building to a crescendo as fresh and familiar faces are making the Impact Zone feel like a war zone. Matt Hardy has debuted in TNA alongside his brother Jeff in the Immortal faction while Tommy Mercer, one of the top young faces on the Indy circuit, as debuted as Crimson in TNA. Plus, Scott Steiner has returned alongside Kurt Angle as the Main Event Mafia is beginning to take shape once again in TNA.
The longtime storyline of Immortal taking TNA and Dixie Carter and the TNA faces retaking the company is beginning to come to a head. I know a majority of wrestling fans will miss out on this angle or they will ridicule it without giving it a chance. But, the genuine wrestling fans who know what professional wrestling is all about will be tuning in for the payoff to one of the few old-school angles left in professional wrestling.
**Season seven of The Office has been hilarious. Sadly, the season has also had a bittersweet cloud hovering overhead ever since the announcement was made that Steve Carell was leaving at the end of the season. The Office without Michael Scott just seems wrong. Unfortunately, fans are going to have to get used to life without Michael Scott even sooner now as it has been announced that Steve Carell’s final episode of The Office will air with four episodes remaining in this season.
I am a Steve Carell fan. But, I believe that this move by Carell will ultimately be a move that he will regret. The Office has made him a television icon and gotten him a lot of cinematic roles that he otherwise would never have seen. He may have a few more big films left in him. But, if those films are anything like the under-whelming Date Night or Dinner for Schmucks, Carell may find those fat Hollywood paydays ending quicker than anticipated.
I just hope that The Office is allowed a chance to shine on its own merit by NBC once Carell’s departure is complete. If the show doesn’t go off the deep end completely, I think The Office has another lengthy run in it with the adventures of Dwight, Jim and Pam, Andy, and other superstars of Dunder-Mifflin.
**I am eagerly looking forward to the third (and tentatively final installment) in the Christopher Nolan Batman film series already. But, the news on the casting of Batman’s next villain has turned my anticipation level from mere eagerness to now impatiently waiting for That Ole Thang II: Electric Boogaloo (also known as The Dark Knight Rises). Anne Hathaway has been announced as Catwoman for the third installment in Nolan’s Batman saga.
I love me some Anne Hathaway. Seriously, Hathaway is right there with Amy Adams, Jenna Fischer, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Meryl Streep in terms of my favorite actresses of all-time. So, I am super-stoked that Anne Hathaway is going to be a part of what has, so far, been one of my favorite film franchises of all-time. While Catwoman is not one of my favorite Batman villains of all-time, I know already that Anne Hathaway will bring a dignity and respect to the role that has never been seen before in the storied history of Catwoman.
**The tenth season of American Idol has arrived and I’m not interested for the first time in the show’s inception. After watching years of mediocre talent discovered (sorry Jordan Sparks through Lee DeWyze), I still enjoyed the show for the harsh doses of reality delivered to delusional contestants via Simon Cowell. However, that is no longer the case as Simon and the lovely (and also honest) Kara DioGuardi are gone with Jennifer Lopez and Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler replacing the two in a last gasp for attention by American Idol producers. It simply isn’t going to work for me though. What was appointment television at one time has now become an afterthought as Wednesdays are now meant for Modern Family and Thursdays are all about NBC’s Comedy Night Done Right.
**A year ago, the end of Hannah Montana would have been met with children committing mass suicides like cults in 1997 San Diego or Al-Qaeda while pedophiles all over would be mourning as if Chris Hansen was waiting in all of their homes simultaneously. It is amazing what one terrible CD, one scandal involving possible drug use, and an alienation of a fan base will do for a young woman’s career and hit television show.
Hannah Montana officially ended on January 16th with a one-hour finale that saw Miley give up a movie role in Paris in order to attend college with her best friend, Lilly. I thought the episode was a wonderful finale to what was a wonderful television show that the entire family could enjoy. Considering the popularity Hannah Montana had at one time, I can’t help but feel a little disappointment and surprise though that Hannah Montana roared like a lion during it’s peak but ultimately went out with less than a whimper during its finale. However, it seems that this reaction was exactly what Miley Cyrus asked for as there was little to no promotion for the finale episode and she has done everything she could in the last 365 days to shed that good girl image. Hopefully this doesn’t spell the end for this talented young woman’s career but I fear Miley may have made an Achy Breaky Mistakey with her handling of Hannah Montana and its finale.
**The Auburn Tigers defeated the Oregon Ducks, 22-19, in one of the most ugly, boring, anticlimactic BCS Championship games in early January. Both of these teams had absolutely amazing offenses during the college football season but the dream match-up netted a combine score less than what each team individually averaged. And, that was no testament to their defenses either.
In the aftermath of the disappointing game, I was left with one prevailing thought: how long is this championship going to be recognized before the NCAA takes it away before of the Cameron Newton Scandal? Newton, this year’s Heisman Trophy winner, led the Tigers offense to the national title amidst allegations that his father pimped him out to countless universities before he settled on Auburn. Considering that Reggie Bush had his Heisman repossessed and USC suffered countless sanctions after a lesser scandal, I will not be surprised when Newton is punished and Auburn is stripped of all their accomplishments from this season. What will surprise me is if it takes five years for this to happen.
**Brett Favre has announced his retirement… again. At 41 years of age and with a sex scandal weighing him down like never before, I actually believe he is gone this time. It seems like every great quarterback has to reach a certain low before he can hang it up for good. Some are injured. Some are plagued by scandals. Some are in unfamiliar uniforms after achieving immortal status within one club’s attire. For Favre, he finally has all of these against him. It is now time for one of the all-time greats to say goodbye to the gridiron.
CHEERS and JEERS
Superstar of the Week: Blake Griffin
There has not been a bigger force in the NBA or the sporting world than Blake Griffin. While the majority of talk in the league has centered on the Miami Heat and their egotistical prick LeBron James or the hostage situation in Denver involving Carmelo Anthony and the Denver Nuggets, the reality is that Blake Griffin has been the single most dominant force in the NBA thus far in the 2010-2011 season. After missing his rookie season due to injury, the Los Angeles Clippers are on the radar and it is because of the phenomenal young stud from Oklahoma.
Through the first 45 games, Griffin has two 40+ point performances, including a 47-point night against the Indiana pacers, and has established himself as one of the league’s most exciting young players through a highlight reel of dunks that have many comparing the youngster to Dominique Wilkins and Darryl “Chocolate Thunder” Dawkins already.
In a league filled with young stars yet to reach their peaks and legends enjoying the final glory of their careers, Blake Griffin is shining brightly alongside those stars as a symbol of the bright future in the NBA. Hopefully injury and ego won’t besmirch this awesome young man.
Jerk of the Week: Ricky Gervais
I think that Ricky Gervais is a funny man. The creator of the original British version of The Office, Gervais has been one of the comedy world’s leading minds for a decade. His sharp tongue and biting wit is usually done in the same comedic vein that I adore. However, after hearing the controversial remarks made by Gervais during his recent hosting stint at the January 16th Golden Globe Awards, I found myself more disappointed than impressed with the Brit.
During the Golden Globe Awards, Gervais took shots at every celebrity in the room in a hosting job that more resembled a bitter, jealous, insecure man than the roasting of fellow celebrities as Gervais later described the evening during the many appearances and interviews he gave as part of his personal damage control. While some of the jokes were funny and timely, a lot of the jokes were just inappropriate and uncalled for during an otherwise joyous occasion for Hollywood. Gervais turned the entire affair into an evening more about him than the films and televisions shows that truly were being honored and I saw those acts, then and now, as the actions of a man desperate for attention. Ricky Gervais, you’re better than that.
POWER RANKINGS - Royal Rumble Matches of All-Time
5. 2007 - The Undertaker eliminates Shawn Michaels to win an epic in San Antonio.
4. 2005 - Batista eliminates John Cena in sudden death finale after Vince McMahon blew his quads.
3. 2009 - Randy Orton eliminates Triple H in a star-studded Rumble in Detroit.
2. 1992 - Ric Flair eliminates Sid Justice in a 60-minute performance to win the WWF Championship.
1. 2001 - Steve Austin eliminates Kane to win one of the most competitive Rumble matches ever.
BIG A RECOMMENDS…
Eastbound and Down - Season One currently available on DVD; Season Two available on DVD soon
I recently watched season one of the HBO comedy Eastbound and Down. Yet again, I have a reason to curse having the Starz package on my DirecTV instead of the HBO package. Eastbound and Down is one of the funniest shows I have seen in a long time and it is perfect for anyone who enjoys their comedy with a little blue humor and rage-fueled immaturity.
Danny McBride stars as former major league relief pitcher Kenny Powers. Powers was once a star in the major leagues, first with the Atlanta Braves and then other squads. Brash, overconfident, pompous, and with a 100 mph fastball, Powers’ story loosely follows the one of former Braves phenomenon John Rocker. Powers finally returns to his North Carolina hometown to sleep on his brother’s couch and work as a substitute middle school gym teacher while deliberating a comeback. That is where season one and the hilarity begin.
Already picked up for a third season, the second season has aired on HBO and is soon to arrive on DVD nationwide. I can’t wait to see season two and can not recommend season one of Eastbound and Down enough. It is awesome.
You know that if my girl, Michelle Beadle, is stoked to meet Kenny Powers then this guy must be one awesome dude. Eastbound and Down. Watch it and laugh.
WHAT I LEARNED THIS WEEK…
On January 17th, I learned once again how live is way too short. I was asleep at around 12 noon when Frank came into my bedroom to wake me. He said, “Something’s happened to Clarence” and I quickly got up. Running into the living room, I saw my mom coming out of the kitchen, crying as she said, “They found Clarence dead this morning.” That was how I got a cold reminder about the briefness and fragility of life: My cousin, Clarence Cheshire, was dead at 43 years old.
Clarence “Cash” Cheshire was the son of my aunt Pat and her husband Wesley Cheshire of Eden. I never really knew Pat as she died when I was young and I never really knew Wesley either. But, I knew Clarence and his sister, another cousin of mine, Mildred well. They both looked up to my mother/their aunt after their mother’s passing and I saw them in their visits with her along with family gatherings. Most recently, Clarence and Mildred had attended some of the family reunions at Farris Park and it was always a welcome sight to see them. What I found out in the days after Clarence’s passing is that his sight was a welcome sight no matter where he went.
Clarence always wanted to work in law enforcement. Despite his size, he had a big enough heart to overcome any obstacle placed in front of him. He worked for various law enforcement agencies all over the region including the Stoneville Police Department, North Carolina Highway Patrol, 911 Emergency Response, Rockingham County Sheriff’s Department, and as deputy sheriff over the town of Reidsville. He never wanted to do anything else with his life. Most of us should be so lucky that we get to live out our dream.
We always shared a bond between us: professional wrestling. Clarence loved the Road Warriors: Hawk and Animal. He was such a fan that I remember seeing Clarence with a haircut resembling Road Warrior Hawk on many an occasion. Plus, I remember how we’d always talk about the Divas. I loved Trish Stratus and he loved Lilian Garcia. We both loved Mickie James. I never got the chance to ask him if he met Mickie when she was in Eden this past September. I certainly hope he did.
One story I told when the floor was opened up at Clarence’s funeral was the story of Clarence’s wrestling mask. In 2004 or 2005, I was taking a Spanish class and needed a wrestling mask for a project on Mexico. So, of course, I got Mama to make me one. While at the house, I was telling Clarence about this and he said, “Hold on a minute.” He went out to his car and pulled out a homemade wrestling mask of his own. It was a mask his mom, Pat, had made for him over 25 years ago. He still wore it, cherished it, and carried it with him. I wish I had a picture from that day.
Clarence’s funeral was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. In retrospect, I compared it to a scene in one of my favorite films of all-time, Big Fish. Clarence lived an amazing life full of laughter, joy, friends, family, and no times but good times. In the days after his passing, I heard all of these stories and just couldn’t believe that he’d done so much in just 43 years. Then, I saw the amount of people saying goodbye at his wake and funeral. The masses of humanity showed that every story was true. Clarence lived all of those stories and more. In this small pond of Rockingham County and in this small pond of life, Clarence Cheshire was truly a really big fish.
I am going to miss him. It’s been almost two weeks but I still can’t belief the day occurred. I will never forget my cousin and I hope that I can be a tenth of the man he was. Then, maybe I can leave this world knowing that I, too, was a good man and a really big fish.
- Aaron Goins
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